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I shook my head. “No. I was a waitress when I started. Damien wanted me to dance but I refused.”
“So why are you doing it now?” asked Rhett.
“Why do you think? It’s not like I had much of a choice in the matter.”
Isaac cleared his throat and straightened his spine before he pulled out a joint and lit it. He took a few puffs before passing it over to Rhett. “Is it true?” he asked. “Everything you said about Damien and what he did to you and your mother. Is that what really happened?”
I ground my teeth at the question. “Yes.”
“Here’s what I don’t understand,” said Phantom. “You’ve lived in the Valley your whole life, right?”
I nodded, unsure how or why that mattered.
“Then why the Gentlemen’s Club? Youhadto have known that—”
“It wasn’t my first choice, okay?” I ground my teeth even harder and took a breath to calm myself. I hated talking about my past, what I went through and the petty, harmless crimes I had no choice but to commit in order to eat.
To fuckinglive.
“I have a record,” I explained. “Nobody would hire me because I’d gotten caught in the past for shoplifting. My mom was a drug addict. She’d blow what money we did have on street drugs and in exchange, we went hungry. I got tired of dumpster-diving and waiting around for the local restaurants to discard their dead leftovers.”
Anger swept over each of their handsomely devilish faces.
“Anyway, I did what I had to do. It was only supposed to be temporary. Bills had to be paid, and I wanted to buy a car so I wouldn’t have to ride a bike to get around. I don’t expect you to understand but it’s the truth. Damien is to blame for all of this shit.”
“Why you, though?” Isaac wondered, looking away from me long enough to reach across Rhett and retrieve the joint Phantom was babysitting. “Why would Damien go through all that trouble targeting you and then send you to do his dirty work?”
I gave him an honest shrug. “I really don’t know. I’ve been asking myself that same question for a while now.”
“Aside from all of that shit, what can you tell us about Damien? What information does he have on us? What did you tell him?”
All these questions were giving me a goddamn migraine. Despite not wanting to be close to them, I approached.
A bewildered look crossed Isaac’s face as I snatched the weed pressed firmly between his fingers and then sat down in the dirt in front of them, finishing the joint off with just a few hard tokes. I wasn’t one to partake in drugs of any sort, but I needed something to ease my shot nerves and I’d heard on many occasions that weed was a spectacular mood stabilizer.
The potency had me coughing up a lung and clenching my chest with an ugly, pained face.
“He doesn’t know much,” I finally said after I’d caught my breath. “Truly, he doesn’t. Believe it or not, he actually calledoffthe hit on you three. He wants me to be a double agent instead. To spy and gain any and all knowledge I can that’ll help him take you and your father down.”
“Does he know you’ve been recruited?” asked Phantom.
I nodded again, which made each of them swear deeply. “Yes, he knows, but that’s literallyallhe knows. He told me to give him updates on the trials. He knows I passed. I sent him the text first thing Sunday morning. Problem is, I’ve already completed my first two trials for the Outlaws. Damien told me once I’m fully a Ravager, my final trial as an Outlaw will be complete. He expects me to turn against you in the end.”
“And will you?” asked Isaac.
I met his gaze, holding it for a long stretch until I blew out the painfully deep breath I’d been holding in.
Shaking my head, I said, “No, I won’t turn against you. I’m hoping that if we’re all still alive when this is over, that Xavier’s offer to free me will still be open.”
It grew quiet then. As I glanced between the three of them, much to my surprise, one by one, each of their impassive glares dissipated into wobbly frowns.
“You-you’re gonna leave?” Rhett’s soft voice rasped out, the hurt in his voice making my heart unexpectedly squeeze behind my ribs.
I nodded. “I-I’m sorry, but… yeah. It’s always been my plan to leave.”
“Then why are you still here?” Phantom asked, his brows irately pinched. “Why didn’t you leave when you had the chance?”
“Because I know what would’ve happened if I did. I don’t wanna live my life on the run. I want to be free. Fully free from Damien and well, no offense to you three, but all of it. But in the right way, though. I never wanted this life. The only reason I even agreed to this shit is because Damien told me the Ravagers are responsible for my dad’s disappearance.”
