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But the nights are so lonely. We used to go out to dinner and talk for hours. I’ve never had that kind of connection with anyone before.
And I don’t think I ever will again.
Even if he didn’t love me, I most definitely loved him and still do. Despite the harsh words he spoke to me, despite the horrible article that proves I was nothing to him, I can’t help but love him.
But I will get through this. The heartache will slowly go away.
Liz had texted me this morning and asked to meet me at my place tonight. I was shocked to see her reach out to me, so I immediately agreed to see her. It will be a difficult meeting because I don’t know how I will face her after the things I did. I’m scared of the things that she might say.
But I’m not a coward. If she is willing to talk things through, then I need to take the chance that she is giving me.
When the doorbell rings, I immediately open my apartment door to let her in.
“Lana! I’m so glad you agreed to see me.” Liz surprises me with a hesitant hug.
“No, thank you for reaching out, Liz. How are you?”
“I’m okay, just missing having you around. I hate the way things ended.”
“Me too. I was surprised you reached out, honestly.”
“I wanted to talk to you,” she says.
Just then, I realize that something is very different about Liz. The way she is standing, the clothes she is wearing. And I can’t contain myshock when I realize what it is. “Wait a minute, Liz. Are you pregnant?” I practically yell the question.
Liz absently rubs her slightly protruding belly as she grimaces. “Yep. Apparently, I can’t hide it any longer.”
I look down, and she has a pronounced baby bump. How have I not noticed this until now? She must be months along. Her face is glowing with health and happiness. Her eyes are shining brightly, and her strawberry-blonde hair is streaming in curls down her back. I’ve never seen her so relaxed and happy.
“What? How did this happen? I mean . . . I know how this happened. But how did I not see it? How far along are you? Oh my gosh, come in and sit down.”
We go over to the couch, where we both plop down. I look her up and down in amazement. I just saw her two weeks ago, and I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Of course, the last time was that fateful meeting in Jake’s office, so I am not sure I would have noticed anything.
“I’m actually twenty weeks along. I only really started showing a couple of weeks ago. I guess it took some time for my bump to pop.” She shrugs. “I woke up one morning, and bam, there it was—my big ole baby belly.”
“Wait, you knew you were pregnant, right?” I ask, fascinated.
“Yes, I just haven’t really told anyone. I’m sorry for keeping it a secret. I’m still coming to terms with it myself, honestly.”
“I’m not really sure how to ask this, but…”
“Who’s the father?” Liz completes my question for me. She chews her lip before answering. “I’m not really ready to talk about that. He doesn’t know yet. I plan to tell him, but I just want to wait until the right time.”
“When is the right time? You have a finite amount of time to tell him with a baby on the way. Take it from me. It’s better to get the truth out so that he doesn’t find out on his own.”
I grimace as the words leave my mouth. I probably shouldn’t remind her of my own stupid actions.
“I’ll tell him soon,” she agrees, nodding. “I just don’t know how he will react. I don’t have any expectations of him, and I fully believe he will not want anything to do with a child anyway. It was sort of a one-night stand, and we had protection, but here we are anyway.”
“Is this why you quit working for Jake?” It hurts to even say his name.
Liz grimaces in response. “Well, kinda. I didn’t know about the baby then, but I found out soon after. I quit for other reasons that I just can’t discuss yet. When the job on the legal team opened up, I jumped on it right away. It turns out that it’s a good thing that I did. There is no way I could work Jake’s hours and travel while being responsible for a baby.”
“Does Jake know?”
“He knows now, yes. I told him after I found out, after I started the new job. I’m glad it worked out this way. He needs someone who can be available for him. And he would have asked me to stay on if he knew I was pregnant. It wouldn’t have been good. He works too hard, as you know, and doesn’t need to pick up my slack.”
“Yes, I do know. How is he doing, by the way?” I ask, pretending nonchalance. I’m desperate to hear about him, even though I know it’ll hurt. Knowing what he’s done and how he lied about Amanda doesn’t make getting over him any easier.
