Page 103 of Resisting Desire


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“He doesn’t love me.”

“You’re both idiots. Seriously. Idiots. I feel like we’re in the middle of a sitcom, and everyone can see what’s happening except you two.”

“Well, you’re super helpful,” I say sardonically. “I called so you could cheer me up, not make fun of me.”

Lana laughs softly. “No, you called me because you needed a big dose of reality, and that’s what I’m giving you. If you can’t see that Ethan loves you, then I don’t know what else to say.”

“I have a feeling it’s too late for us anyway, so it doesn’t matter. I appreciate the chat, but I’m going to go now and have a glass of wine so that I can hopefully get to sleep tonight.”

“You should call him back. You two need to talk. Nothing is going to be solved by avoiding each other.”

“Maybe. You’ve given me some things to think about. I need to get some sleep. I’ll call you in a few days. Goodnight, Lana.”

She sighs on the other end of the line. “Goodnight, Liz.”

After the call disconnects, I lie back in bed and close my eyes. I know that I won’t get any sleep tonight, but it’s worth a try.

Chapter 28

Ethan

My alarm goes off, and I’m tempted to hit snooze. My eyes are gritty from lack of sleep, and I feel like shit from drinking too much whiskey last night. After abruptly ending the phone call with Liz, I ended up calling Dax and asking him to come over for a drink.

That was probably not the wisest course of action.

We stayed up entirely too late, and I got shit-faced drunk—anything to drown out her voice in my head. Unfortunately, there’s not enough whiskey in the universe to stop me from missing her.

I tried drowning myself in work, but that didn’t help. I tried to drink myself into oblivion, but that just gave me a headache.

What’s left?

A gaping chasm where my heart used to be, that’s what’s left.

I told her I loved her, and she said she cared about me. What the actual fuck kind of response is that?

Shecaresabout me. I hate that I keep repeating that in my head. That’s all I can think about. Shecaresabout me. It’s like my mind is taunting me.

She accused me of not loving her. I did everything to show her I cared for her. Everything. And what did she give in return?

Well, I thought she was giving me her heart. It turns out that she doesn’t love me at all. I was so wrong, so blind. Ha! It shows how smart I am.

I let her leave, though. I allowed her to walk out of my life without a single word. Maybe I could have convinced her how I felt. I could have tried harder. The truth is, yes, I was honest when I said I loved her. But, until now, I didn’t realize how much I wasinlove with her. I didn’t know that her leaving would destroy my world.

I can’t live without her. I feel like everything is crashing down on me. And the worst part is that she doesn’t care. In the two weeks that she’s been gone, she never picked up the phone. Not once did she send a text. Then again, neither did I.

If this is what love is, maybe I was wise to avoid it all these years. Who needs this? I was perfectly happy in my old life.

Except that’s a lie. I wasn’t happy.

I swipe away the moisture that is threatening in the corner of my eye just as Dax storms into my room.

“Get up, asshole,” he demands. He comes over and yanks the covers off me.

I throw a pillow at him. “Why are you still here?”

“You need to get up, shower, and get dressed. Jake is on his way over to talk to you. We’ve had enough of your moping around, depressed crap.”

I grit my teeth at his harsh tone. If my brothers think I’m going to stand by for another one of their interventions, they’ve lost their minds.

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