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I hear the sudden click as the line disconnects.
My throat tightens, and I fight to hold back the rush of tears that threaten yet again.
Back in the day, I honestly thought I loved Trent. Now I know I didn’t feel a fraction of the love for him that I feel for Ethan.
Not for the first time, I begin to think I may have made a rash decision in moving. Even if Ethan doesn’t love me, I know he cares for me. Maybe that could’ve been enough. Now, I’ll never know.
Now, he wants nothing to do with me at all.
I look down at the phone still in my hand. I can’t call him back. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk to me.
I’ll call Lana. She’ll be my shoulder to cry on.
The phone rings twice, three times. Just when I’m about to hang up, Lana answers.
“Liz!”
“Hey, Lana. Are you busy? You sound out of breath.”
She giggles with her mouth away from the phone. “No, Jake and I are just sitting here watching TV.” She giggles again.
I hear Jake in the background telling her to get off the phone and come to bed. I interrupted their playtime. If I wasn’t depressed before, I sure am now.
“I can tell you’re busy. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“No, just hang on one sec.”
She is gone for a good two minutes. I feel guilty for calling them so late at night and am about to hang up when she returns to the phone.
“Sorry!” she says. “I had to say goodnight to Jake.”
Irrational jealousy washes over me. Her innocent words remind me of everything that will never be mine.
“It’s okay. I didn’t realize it was so late. I just wanted to hear a friendly voice. It’s been a long two weeks.”
“Aww, you can call me anytime. Everything okay? I sure do miss you!” Lana says.
“Everything is okay. It’s just that Ethan called just now.”
“Ahhh. I see,” Lana says. “And?”
“And I really miss him,” I admit. “I’m pretty sure he hates me, though. He could barely stand to talk to me.”
“Are you serious?” Lana’s voice kicks up an octave as though she’s in disbelief. “Ethan doesn’t hate you. Jake said he’s been moping around the office for weeks now. He’s like a lost puppy.”
I blow out a frustrated breath. “Yeah, I took Matthew away from him. Of course he’s moping.”
“Jake told me that Ethan loves you, but he’s just being too stupid to realize it,” Lana admits in a confidential tone.
“Ethan told me that he loves me right before I left,” I confess. “But I don’t believe him. After he left the first time, I don’t really believe he’s capable of loving me. It’s not in his DNA.”
“Liz, oh my gosh! How can you say that? Ethan is so capable of love. Have you seen how he looks at you? He’s crazy about you. And he told you that he loves you! What did you say back?”
I’m almost afraid to admit to her what I said. In hindsight, I realize I could’ve handled the situation better and with a lot more grace.
“I told him that I cared about him. And I told him he only thinks he loves me because I was moving away with Matthew."
“The man admitted to loving you, and your response was that you care about him? Liz! Why didn’t you tell him that you love him?” I hear the disbelief in her voice. Yep, she’s clearly team Ethan.
