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‘Not sure I’ll get what I came for.’
‘Well maybe, if you don’t, you’ll take something else away instead,’ said Terri. ‘You know, you had more people in your corner than you might have thought. If you hadn’t left the village, your family would have realised that. Ella Smith changed her story so many times it was obvious she was lying her arse off about something, and it was common knowledge that Denny had a shit life up there.’ She nodded in the direction of Starling Hill. ‘These days social services would have been down on them like a ton of bricks. And me. I might have ended up in a lovely foster home.’
‘What happened to your family?’ asked Shay, chewing on some pea shoots from the side salad as she listened.
‘Drink killed my dad, drugs killed my two brothers and the other is on a whole life tariff in Durham prison. Plus you’ll have heard about my cousin, I’m sure – remember Glynn Duffy?’
‘He was your cousin?’ Shay didn’t know that.
‘People coming from families like mine can follow the leader or change the pattern. I didn’t like how people tarred me with the same brush, you know how gossipy villages can be, especially those two in the post office, that pair of witches. They once put a poster on the door with my photo on it barring me from going in in case I shoplifted –in case,just because I was a Briggs. I was so embarrassed, I can’t tell you. When I saw it, my first thought was to throw a brick through their window. Then I thought, no, I’m going to show them that I’m not a typical Briggs so I suppose they did me a favour really.’ She smiled. ‘Sadly they both died and went to hell before they could see the full effect of how lovely I became.’
‘Give me strength,’ Chloe said, bringing two coffees to the table.
‘I was married – to a man – before I jumped on the other bus,’ Terri disclosed.
‘Who even says “jumped on the other bus”?’
‘Chloe, will you please keep your neb out of our conversation,’ her mum said, giving her a pointed glance over her shoulder. ‘She’s got ears like a bat. Amanda’s the same. As I was saying, it didn’t last very long. I was a mixed-up young kid and he was… well, the sort of man Theresa Briggs was destined for.’
‘Marry in haste, eh?’ said Shay and a picture of Sunny loomed in her head.
‘Well, I got out as quick as I got in, to tell you the truth. Luckily. Maybe if I’d had mates to guide me, but I never had any real friends at school, just girls who were a bit scared of me and wanted to keep on my right side. I used to envy how you interacted with girls, it all seemed so easy to you.’
‘They didn’t stick around though when I needed them, did they?’ said Shay, stirring the foam into her coffee. ‘They all dropped me like a hot potato.’
‘They’re called fairweather friends,’ Chloe called over. ‘You’re better off without that sort, anyway.’
‘Are you still earwigging, Chloe Wells? Is your daughter as mouthy as mine, Shay?’ asked Terri.
‘Oh lord, don’t even get me started,’ replied Shay.
‘Jonah and I became good friends after you’d gone,’ said Terri. ‘Just friends. He was so cut up about you. His family gave me a place to stay when I ran away from my marriage and well… I started to live a much better life than I ever thought I’d have.’ Shay thought that Terri Wells looked like a very contented woman and she envied her that.
After the toastie, Shay found herself saying yes to a slice of cake. It was so good talking to a woman again, the way she used to talk to Tan, the sort of conversations that could flow on for hours and yet later, you had no idea how you filled up so much time. They reminisced about school and people in the village. Then they chewed the fat over children, the fear of letting them loose in a world that seemed more hostile and unstable with every day that passed, about families and siblings from different planets and also about drawing knobs on divorce petitions. It was closing time before they knew it. Chloe dropped the latch on the front door but Terri forced Shay to have another coffee before she left.
‘Blimey, I thought I could do competitive talking, but you two should join the Olympic squad,’ said Chloe, as she cashed up the till. She made Shay laugh. She could imagine she’d get on very well with Courtney if they ever met.
‘How long are you staying around for?’ asked Terri at the door.
‘I have my son’s wedding in three weeks and I’ll have to go back for that. And I’ve got the job of dismantling my mum’s house and wading through my own divorce. The sooner I get it all done, the sooner I can get on with the rest of my life,’ Shay answered, though the landscape of that rest of her life stretched before her like a barren, rather than a fallow, field.
‘Jonah’s a lovely man,’ said Terri. ‘I don’t think he ever stopped holding a candle for you, Shay. I’ll just park that one right there with you.’
Shay smiled. Both women reached towards each other at the same time and embraced. It was a hug every bit as sweet as the honey in the toasted sandwiches.
Chapter 38
Shay went to the Smiths’ farm for the third time the next morning and once again she slammed the door with her hand until it throbbed, and once again there was no response. She was starting to imagine that both mother and daughter were now sitting in the cottage and laughing at her, even pulling up their chairs to watch the floorshow through the window nets. It was all beginning to feel a bit hopeless but she couldn’t stop now, even if she’d wanted to, because there was no plan B.
The following day she headed there yet again. The blue August sky of yesterday had been gobbled up by lumpy clouds and the weather perfectly reflected her mood as she walked down the path to the farm. As she approached, she saw the curtain draw back and fall as if someone inside had been on sentry duty.
The farmhouse looked even more mouldered in the overcast dullness, but then not even the brightest of hazy summer days could prettify or add a hint of the quaint to it. It would do the area a favour to have this place pulled like a rotten tooth and excise the decayed depression that hung around it like a fug.
She banged hard on the door.
‘Ella. It’s Shay Corrigan. I’m here again and you know why,’ she called, mouth close to the wood. She heard a key turn. She presumed she had just been locked out but then she saw the handle depress. The door opened slowly and Ella Smith appeared, squinting as if this were her first view of light after a long winter.
‘You’d better come in,’ she said.
