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I have to put distance between us. Then I’ll be able to think more clearly.
I told that to Roxie, too.
But she didn’t agree.
Now, she frowns at me. “I don’t get it. You talked to him last night… and he’s cool with you leaving town?”
“We had a nice visit.”A nice, short visit. “He says he’s going to come out to LA this winter, maybe around the holidays.”
“You’re both idiots,” she grumbles, as she gets to her feet. She paces to the sink and looks out through the window, toward his house. “Is he home today? You should go say goodbye again.”
A familiar lump forms in my throat.
It’s been around all day, ever since I started stuffing items into my suitcase early this morning.
“He’s at the clinic today.”
“You could go there, then. Don’t worry about this dog stuff. It’s a piece of cake. And I can call you anytime to ask questions. Youhaveto talk to Nick again, Maddie. This can’t be how it ends for you guys. Just show up at the clinic, get him to take a break. You still have time. Your flight doesn’t leave for hours.”
I push my bangs up and comb my fingers over the top of my head.
How can I explain this to my little sister?
How can I put into words what it feels like to fall in love with your best friend, and then watch him start up a relationship with someone else?
Maybe I’ll try to put it all in words for her another time. Once I can sort through it better, myself. Right now, my hurt over seeing Hana and Nick together that evening is still too fresh.
The worst part is, I know I had a hand in it all.
“I know you wanted it to go differently.” I swallow, trying to ease away the lump so I can talk.Because I wanted it to go differently, too.
This should be a victorious day.
I got what I came home for.
I rested.
I recuperated.
I healed.
I got my legal ducks in a row, and now my movie is well on its way to production.
Tomorrow afternoon, I have a meeting with Stanford Moss and his team at the Bobcat Pictures offices on Wilshire Boulevard.
I lined up an apartment to rent for the next six months, or longer, if I like it. And since I’m going to be paid soon, I evenput a guilt-free purchase on my credit card and hired a moving company to help me get my stuff out of Sylvester’s.
Everything’s in place.
So… this lump?
It’s not welcome.
I should be fantasizing about opening a nice bottle of champagne in my new apartment. Reveling in my success.
Instead, I’m here in this cluttered kitchen, on the brink of crying…again.
I don’t want to cry anymore. I want to be proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve worked, and now it’s paying off.
