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“Yeah sure, I’ll pick you both up.” Dan says.
“Um.. Just me, Millie left a few minutes ago, I think I may have said something, something that may have had her running? She looked pale, when I spoke about some things, namely your feelings Jack, and she could not get out of here fast enough. Oh, she is also drunk; we shared at least two bottles of wine but she said she would text me when she got back to the suite.”
“Fucking hell Em, why? What could you have said to her that made her run? Dan’s on his way, I’ll head back now and see how she is.”
When I get back, she is not there; I’m not worried, she has almost fully healed now. Even if she is a little drunk the way Em said, she would not appreciate me turning up and trying to haul her into the car. She has been a little off over the last few days, like she regrets what we did. Maybe it was too much too soon, but the way she kept teasing me, I couldn’t control myself. One look at her and I’m hard, thinking of all the ways I can be with her, make her mine. Shit, that sounds very caveman, but who cares I want her, any way I can have her. Walking to the kitchen I grab a cold glass of water, when I hear the door handle go, it takes her a minute to open it, but when she does she almost falls in. Chuckling to myself I move forward, but she moves back, drops to the floor, her hands moving up to cover her face.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me again… I won’t survive this time, not after what you did, it almost killed me.” she cries out, shit she must think I’m him. My brain goes into overdrive, she said killed me; he almost killed her? I take a step back; my brain can’t handle the information. She has pressed herself up against the door, trying to protect herself, from him, from me?
“Millie, it’s Jack. I won’t hurt you. It’s me Jack,” I blurt out. I stay away holding my hands up, trying my best to remain calm, when I can feel the anger build in my chest as her words sink in. I want to find that bastard and hurt him like he hurt her.
“It’s Jack, Mil, I’ve never hurt you, never will, I want to help you.” She looks at me with wide eyes through her hands. Who could do this to her? Reduce her to this – panicked and submissive—it’s so wrong. The woman I once knew is in there somewhere, with bright eyes and full of confidence.
Keeping my voice soft, I look her directly in the eye, “I will never hurt you Millie, why would I? I…” Shit I was about to say the L word, do I? No, too soon. Stupid thought, but my heart is pounding like it knows better.
“It’s Jack.” I move towards her and she flinches away, the panic in her eyes, she looks almost wild. My heart is thumping so loud; I crouch down on the floor and just sit there for a moment.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”
“Millie, you have nothing to be sorry for, I would never hurt you, let me help you up, I think we need to talk.”
She backs away. “Jack?” she cries, and I’m there next to her in a flash. I move her hands away from her face; her breathing is ragged, like she can’t get enough air in. Her hands are shaking, tears keep sliding down her cheeks, she can’t stop them.
“I think you are having a panic attack, let’s get you off the floor.” In one swoop she is in my arms; I can feel her relax against me, her head landing on my chest as she takes in a deep breath to try and settle herself. Sitting on the sofa I place her on my lap, she curls up even more, a sob leaving her lips as I stroke her cheek with the back of my hand.
Millie
I could barely breathe, I thought it was him, but all my senses tell me it’s Jack. When he picks me up into his arms, I can feel the panic sliding away, but the tears still come. It’s like I can’t turn them off; the smell of his aftershave calms me, his armswrapped around me, and I snuggle in closer, welcoming the warmth and the feeling of safety he brings to me.
“Millie?” he whispers into my hair and I can feel his heart pounding; it’s like a sleeping pill, lulling me under, my eyes feel heavy.
“I think we need to talk.”
“Not now,” I say and I feel myself get pulled under into a restful sleep, still wrapped in his arms.
My head feels like it’s going to split, I can’t and don’t want to open my eyes. The memory of last night returns, what I did, how I reacted to Jack, how I thought I had seen Glen standing there in the kitchen, and how I freaked out when he stepped towards me.
I feel so ashamed of my reaction to him; embarrassment washes over me as I try to block out the memory, groaning and pulling the covers over my head. When I do, I feel an arm wrap around my waist, and I feel those delicious tingles run through my body; Jack pulls me to him, still asleep. My back pressed to his front, I can feel his erection pressing into my back; the warmth of his skin feels wonderful on mine. His hand trails up my hip, my eyes shoot open and I freeze on the spot. I realise I’m naked, taking a peek under the covers, well almost naked, I still have my pants on. He must have got me undressed; this just got worse, I don’t remember him doing it. Maybe I did? I need to get out, I can’t handle this, as much as I love the feeling of him next to me, I just can’t do this. it’s too much for me to handle, let alone anyone else.
As I slide his hand off my hip, he groans but stays asleep. I slip out and head to the bathroom, quickly shower and gather my things. When I walk out the bathroom ten minutes later, he’s not there, but I can hear him taking a shower in the other room. As quickly and quietly as I can, I grab my case, shove my stuff insideand wheel it to the door. I manage to get the case outside before he opens the bedroom door.
“Millie? Where are you off to this early?” he says with a questioning look in his eye..
“I’ve got some stuff to do before work…um…thanks for last night Jack, and I’m sorry,” I say, hanging my head in shame.How can I even be around him when I react like that?I feel ashamed, he doesn’t deserve that from me, not after everything he has done. I know he is not Glen, but I can’t let myself be in another relationship. I need time to …. I don’t know the answer to that, I just need to get away, clear my head, be me.
“What are you sorry for exactly?” He goes to move towards me but I move myself out the door.
“All the trouble I have caused you,” I say in a faint whisper and close the door behind me.
I almost run to the lift so he doesn’t see me leave, I know he will try and stop me.
When I get down stairs, I ask Mary to call me a taxi.
“Where are you off so early?” She asks, glancing at my bag and back at me.What is with the questions?She has been on the night shift. It’s only 7 am, and not many people are around.
“Going back to my apartment today, I thought I would go and set it up for when I finish work later.”
She looks at me puzzled, “I thought you gave up your apartment?”
