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“Millie told her everything…we have all had an idea of what we thought she had been through but...” Even Dan looks like he could cry.What is going on? How can it be worse than beating her up?
“When you say everything…?” I say, worry seeping through me like a bad tequila.
“I mean everything,” Em says, “everything from start to finish, what he did to her, everything.”
“Tell me Em. I need to know, last night when I got home, she freaked out, had a panic attack. I think she thought I was him.She kept saying sorry over and over again, saying don’t hurt me. She literally fell to the floor in fear, she also said,” I say, taking a deep breath in, “that it almost killed her… is that true? Did he?” My voice breaks when Em nods at me. I can’t breathe, how could he… I knew it was bad but hearing what Emma had been told was gut-wrenching, even without the details. How could he hurt her like that? The fear, the anger, the sick feeling I have, I can’t just sit down.
“I can’t tell you anymore, it’s not my story to tell, but she needs you, more than she realises, you need to get her to talk to you,” Em says softly.
“I will, I promise, I’ll do anything I can help her.”
“I know you will, you love her.”
“Oo, woo, hold your horses. I never said I loved her, I just really, really, really like her a lot.”Who am I trying to kid?
“Yeah, yeah, we know. Anyway, how are you going to get her to talk to you?”
“I have a plan, I think.”
“Don’t go all caveman on her, that’s not what she needs. She needs you to be honest with her, and sneaking around behind her back doing what you think is best is not the right thing to do.”
I have to admit she’s right, my plan was to just turn up and drag her back, and ‘caveman style’ as my sister put it. But I know that won’t work, not now.Be open with her? Can I do that?
We spent the rest of the evening talking about the wedding. I just sit there nodding when I think I need to; my mind is elsewhere. I’ve never wanted a relationship, not after what happened with Mum and Dad. I never want to feel what they went through. I don’t want to lose her though.Maybe what I’m feeling is love? Maybe it’s worth it?
We all have a slight gloom hanging over us, I get back to the suite just after midnight. Millie should be back by now. Her shiftfinished at eleven and she normally heads straight back home. When I knock on her room door, there’s no reply. Opening the door, I take a peek inside and find it empty. Taking a closer look, I notice all her stuff is gone.
I’m on the phone within seconds, calling Mike, Dan and anyone else I know to see if they know where she is, and bingo, she is staying at that shit hole again. It’s good to be me sometimes, especially when you know everyone.
Unfortunately, it didn’t take much to get the room number off the reception desk, which is a little alarming and I will be reporting it tomorrow. With the lift out of order, I climb the stairs and reach her room; I hadn’t really thought about what to do after this point. It’s almost one in the morning. I’m standing outside about to knock on the door, when it flies open and out comes Millie in my t-shirt and nothing else. The look of shock on her face when she sees me is priceless. She almost walks into my chest.
“What are you doing here?” She looks angry and relieved at the same time. Her red hair is tied up in a bun on top of her head, and she is looking up at me, wanting an answer.
“What are you doing out of the room looking like that?” I say, glancing down at what little she is wearing. I know she has no underwear under that top, I can see everything.
She laughs but doesn’t move; she just places her hands on her hips, looking at me.
“What are you doing here Jack?”
“I am trying to look out for you, but you are making it very difficult. You can’t stay here Millie. It’s not safe, I only had to ask what room you were in and they gave me the number,” I say gesturing to the stairs where I came from.
“You don’t need to worry about me Jack. I’m okay,” she replies, taking a step back from me.
“You see, you’re wrong, I do. I can’t help it.” I sigh, stepping towards her and putting my arm around her waist. I pull her in as close as I can.
“Jack…I…” Her breath hitches as she places her small hand on my chest.
“Look, can we talk? I want to be honest with you.”
Chapter seventeen
I Trust You
Millie
I suppose it’s now or never; if I tell him everything, he will see me for the weak-ass person I have become. I need to tell him why I am the way I am, why I freaked out. I think he already knows, but I doubt he knows the extent of the abuse. At least he will know how fucked up I am; I suppose I can’t feel any more ashamed about it than I already do.
Stepping back, I walk back into the room, knowing he will follow me. I gesture towards the chair and he takes a seat, leaning his elbows on his knees. As humiliated as I am, I can’t help but drink him in, he looks amazing even at this time in the morning. His blond hair is tied up in a man-bun, showing the shaved sides hidden underneath. There is a hint of stubble on his jaw that makes him look even more rugged. His sculpted arms and chest are covered in a well-fitted blue hoodie, and his jeans, my god those jeans hug him in all the right places. I sit across from him on the bed but before I can say anything, he looks me in the eye.
