AllFreeNovel
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Learn what I love
Do things outside of my comfort zone
Try new things
Build my own business
Learn who I am
Be myself (whoever that is)
Learn anything I want
Sell my house
Learn what I love, ha, where do you even start with that? I don’t remember the last time I did something for myself, something I enjoyed doing. It was always something he wanted; even if I suggested something, he would say, “Why would I want to do that?” and I would be made to feel stupid, and inadequate all over again. So I stopped making suggestions. It’s going to be a learning curve for sure. I guess I will just have to wait and see, try new things, learning what I love and doing things outside of my comfort zone, I guess all rolled into one. I’ll keep my eyes open and see what is there to do around here, see what takes my fancy, so to speak.
There is one thing that scares the shit out of me, and I’m not sure I’m ready to do it yet. I know it will tip him over the edge, but it’s mine, not his like he told everyone; I need to sell my house. I can’t go back there; I have nothing to go back for, I have no friends there, or family. It’s just me, I just need to figure out how I can do it without being there. Maybe Emma will know, but that means telling some of what I don’t want anyone to know. So I add it to my list to deal with later.
Two hours later, I’m at the pub; Mike has spent the last hour showing me the ropes. It’s not rocket science, but it’s what I need, I can blend in without being noticed. It’s Thursday night, and even though it’s only eight o’clock, it’s busy. Mike introduced me to Dale and Sammy, who work on the bar and has left me to it. They seem really nice. It’s obvious they already have a thing for each other. It’s cute to watch.
I have not stopped, it’s already eleven, and it took me a while to get into a bit of a routine. I also started helping the guys in the kitchen when it started to get really busy earlier, just so I’m not around people so much. I know it sounds stupid, the likelihood of him finding me here is like…one in a million, but what if someone knows him? He travels the country for his work, and I’m sure he never told me everywhere he went. What if he finds me? My heart starts racing, starting to panic, so I quickly excuse myself from the kitchen and make my way outside to get some air, when I collide with someone. He grips my arms to stop me from falling back, and I flinch from the pain, “Ow!” I look up to see who it is and… Oh my God, how… I can’t think, my mind goes blank, what do I say…
“Fuck... I’m so sorry,” is all I manage to say. I can’t believe it, it has been six years but I would know him anywhere. I can’t look at him, how can I still feel like this? Oh man, the feel of his hard chest beneath my hands, it’s so warm even through his shirt, the way he is holding me. I can’t do this, not now, I look away. I don’t want him to see me like this; I step back and walk away as quickly as I can and sneak back into the pub. Once I’m back inside, I lean my back against the door, and let out a shaky breath. “What the fuck!” One thing is for sure, he has no idea who I am. Why would he even remember me? I’m nobody. I was a one-night stand, technically a one-day stand, an amazing one-day, one that rocked my world. How can he even be here? He of all the people I could literally run into, the man I have sexdreams about, the best sex I have ever had, the man who started this whole thing, my reason for being here. I spend the rest of my shift hidden from customers, and only show up in the bar once it’s closed.
