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Am I a rebel?
She laughed harder as she ran faster. Within minutes, the beach came into view.
Lucie bounded onto the nearly empty beach and kicked off her shoes. It was 8:50. She spied the same gang of teenagers out of the corner of her eye. They were queuing for the inflatable assault course. No matter where she went, they were always there. Did they think she was a rebel or just rude? The girl from the day before caught her eye and raised her eyebrow. Lucie picked up her shoes and stepped closer to the water, creating more space between them.
Maybe if she closed her eyes, they’d stay away from her.
She dropped her bag and shut her eyes. What if they came to attack her? Now she wouldn’t know.
Stop being silly. They don’t care about you.
The wet sand clumping under the bridge of her feet distracted her overthinking brain. She filled her lungs with the clear air and slowly breathed it out. The night rain resembled a shower that fell after a series of sweltering days and cleared the heaviness from the atmosphere. It was like a fresh chapter. Lucie faced the water and pulled her earphones out to listen to the water lapping slowly on the beach, clearing the sand of yesterday. She opened one eye and checked if the teenagers had moved, but they were still in the queue, shoving each other and laughing. Cool air covered her skin, and she closed her eye again to stop distracting herself from the atmosphere. The scent of fir trees filled her lungs, and goose pimples dotted her arms. But she wasn’t cold. For the first time in a long time, she had hope. But hope for what?
What if Chris turned up? What would she say to him? Maybe he’d want to shout at her as her dad had. Her thoughtswere jumbled, yet her skin itched with excitement, and energy filled her limbs even though she’d barely slept the night before.
Suddenly the smell of Lynx Africa replaced the scent of fir. Chris was here. It made her want to laugh, but why? Lucie didn’t open her eyes. What if he wasn’t as attractive as she’d thought and she’d built it up too much in her head? It would serve her right for being so superficial. She hated it when people judged her looks, so why was she doing it to someone else? Other worries compounded like the sand beneath her feet. What if he was angry? Or what if she blushed and Chris laughed at her? He stood close but not close enough for their arms to touch. He didn’t speak. She squeezed her eyes tight, willing him to say something, yet terrified of what that something might be.
A couple of voices carried on the breeze from the pancake house. Families were laughing about the smiley faces they’d found on their pancakes after a chef got creative with the chocolate chips. A child was probably sitting on the decking outside the pancake house, based on the direction of the sound. They asked someone what the moon looked like and if stars had feelings.
Could your soul smile? A rush of something like joy filled her heart, and a smile rested on her lips. If Chris were angry, he wouldn’t have come, or he’d have said something, right? She breathed in his spicy deodorant again and sighed.
“Do they?” Chris whispered in her ear. It made her goose bumps multiply like little viruses all over her skin. It was as if she was seven again, and her best friend had told her that when boys tagged you in a game of chase, they gave you the lurgy. Did Chris give her the lurgy? Her brain stopped working when he stood this close, and sweat beaded the back of her neck under her ponytail. Maybe this was what love did to you.
You’re not in love. Don’t be silly. You’ve only just met.
She cleared her mind and immersed herself in the moment. “Do they what?” she whispered back, her eyes closed and her body facing the water.
“Do stars have feelings?” At his voice, the hairs on her neck stood on end.
Could she hear his smile through his words?
“There’s one way to find out. We should spread our wings and reach for them.” Why did she say that? It was the sort of thing that girls at school would laugh at her for. It wasn’t logical or something that a grown-up would say, yet she said it to Chris. There was something about being around him that made her silly. It wasn’t love—they were like primary school friends—but she couldn’t explain the attraction on top of that.
“Okay, I’m spreading my arms now, but you have to as well.” A balminess spread through her belly at the Bristolian lilt of his voice. She should have had that accent too, but her dad had made her practice clear-cut speech as a child. It made her love Chris’s voice even more.
She opened her arms and brushed against him. Chris’s skin was warm against hers. She tingled at the contact. They must have looked ridiculous.
Chris whispered again, “Now, what do we do? Do we ask the stars if they have feelings?”
“No.” She smiled. She didn’t know why she said the next thing. Was it hope that filled her heart or something more? “Now, we will change the world.”
He didn’t laugh or tell her she was an idiot. Instead, he said, “Spread your wings, reach for the stars, and you will change the world. Okay, I will.”
Then he did something that made her breath catch and her heart stop. He entwined her fingers with his and held her hand. They stood together. Her hand was clammy, and his flesh was warm, but she refused to break contact. A guy had never held herhand before. Her heart went from stopping to beating rapidly. It was a bit like when she had an anxiety attack, but pleasant, although she was fighting to keep her trembling arms still. Even though she wore a ponytail and there was a freshness in the air, strands of her hair stuck to her sweaty neck. Happiness replaced a concern that she might ruin everything by existing.
“We can’t stand here all day,” she said after what could have been thirty seconds or ten minutes. Time had no distinguishable pattern when she was with him. She wanted to stay there all day, but she didn’t want him to get awkward and suddenly pull his hands away. By doing it first, she’d stopped him rejecting her. Not that she was ditching him. But it was good to save face, right?
“It’s a shame, but I suppose if we’re going to change the world, we need to move,” Chris replied without inflexion. “And I was hoping we’d play adventure golf this morning too.”
A giggle fell from her lips. She opened one eyelid and gave him a side-eye. Lucie was blessed with him smiling at her, his dimples shadows in the sunshine.
“Okay, let’s go,” she said. Chris twisted his hand so they were no longer intertwined but linked. She forced out a breath at the realisation that he still wanted to hold her hand and reached for her rucksack. He didn’t let go as she leaned down. Was this a weird game or joke he was playing on her? Hand in hand, they walked to the adventure golf and teased each other about who would be the ultimate champion. But what if her dad caught them? Lucie yanked at her ponytail.
Chapter Fifteen
They’d been playing adventure golf for half an hour, but progress had been slow due to the number of people who’d had the same idea as them.
“You seem to be struggling on that hole a bit,” Lucie called out.
