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Well, I agree with Monty, which isn’t something I thought I’d ever find myself admitting. We’re very different people and I don’t think we’d be friends if it wasn’t just convenient because we’re in the same group, but – he’s got a point. An excellent one.
Isn’t that more or less what I told Lloyd that first night we met? Love isn’t like it looks on screen, rosy and golden and impassioned. Relationships are about work. Compromise.
Something Lloyd and I, apparently, couldn’t do.
‘Anna?’ Dylan prompts, and I’ve clearly been silent for too long.
I shake it off. ‘I’m kind of on Monty’s side here.’
Monty looks down at me in surprise, eyebrows shooting up high. ‘Huh. Really?’
‘Really.’
He pulls a face, and for a second I think he’s amused, that he’s laughing at me and is going to mock me – but just as I’m about to scowl and tell him this is the last time I defend him against Dylan’s banter, I realize he’s simply surprised. He’s not the only one; maybe I was a little too quick to judge him at the start of summer.
I smile back at him, and Dylan’s mumbled argument about how we clearly just haven’t seen a good rom-com is lost to the Tannoy announcement that we arenow approaching Victoria. I’m not very sorry to have it end the conversation.
After all, if I’m going to be a bit more careful with my heart, maybe getting into deep conversations about romance and relationships isn’t the best way to do that.
Before long, I’ve settled back into the familiar rhythm of reviewing spreadsheets and studying slide decks to write up a report. My team add a few things to my to-do list without asking if I have time to pick it up for them, but I don’t complain.
Being here, among the bustle of Arrowmile, reminds me why I’m doing this. The glow of pride I get when I send someone an email and see my fancy little sign-off at the bottom of it, the way everyone treats me like a grown-up and not a kid who needs coaching.Thisis what I want.Thisis what’s going to make all the difference after I finish my degree.
This is why I pushed Lloyd away.
I have to turn down a lunch invite from Elaine and Verity because I’m stuck in meetings, but later in the afternoon, I take a break, heading up to the twelfth floor for a change of scenery, and to stretch my legs a little. Maybe I’ll do a quick wander by Monty and Verity’s team to say hi, or see if Freya’s at her desk for a quick chat for a few minutes.
A fresh cup of tea in hand, I wander along the open stretch of office that serves as a corridor. The Marketing team are all standing around a whiteboard, noisy and animated. Topher Fletcher’s glass-walled office is on the right-hand side of the floor, near the Client Management team; the HR department sit just beyond them, in the far corner.
Some of the desks in this section of the office look a little deserted, and the muffled voices in a nearby meeting room suggest that’s where everyone is. The blinds are shut over the glass walls for added privacy.
I spot Verity at her desk, but she’s got a headset on and is nodding seriously along to something – presumably in a meeting. She catches my eye and gives me a quick smile and wave, but carries on with her call. In the seat beside her, Monty’s also wearing his headphones, although he’s got the microphone attachment twisted up and away from his mouth and is slumped, swivelling side to side in his chair while he pays more attention to something on his computer than their meeting. Verity’s greeting catches his attention and he looks over too, offering a nod in my direction.
A few desks away, Freya is talking to Topher’s PA, both of them looking at something on the PA’s computer. Freya’s holding her phone like she might betaking notes, but I’m not sure. They’re both chatty and smiley, so I can’t be sure if this is a serious conversation or they’re just looking at an article about the newLove Islandbombshells who entered the villa last night. I linger for a moment, trying to work it out, not wanting to interrupt just in case.
‘Looking for someone?’
I jump, almost spilling my tea.
In front of me, less than arm’s length away, is Lloyd.
My heart gives a little somersault in my chest, the traitor.
There’s something off about Lloyd, and it takes me a second to realize – it’s his smile. This one is smaller, gentler, close-lipped. There’s something cautious and guarded about it. It’s not the kind of smile I’m used to seeing from him, and would never expect to see when he’s hamming it up around the office.
‘Not you,’ I blurt, and cringe at how nasty it sounds. ‘Um, just, uh – I thought I’d say hi to the others. I missed them at lunch.’
Lloyd nods slowly, a knowing gleam in his eyes. His mouth twists slightly into more of a smirk, like he wants to make some comment about me focusing on my job over everything else.I feel a prickle of annoyance, a flush creeping up my neck, at how easily he sees through me.
I thoughthewas supposed to be the open book, not me.
‘Looks like they’re busy though, so, I’ll just … go,’ I say.
And yet, my feet don’t move.
He nods again, and when I still don’t move, he says, ‘You weren’t in the last few days. I didn’t realize you were … You didn’t say you were going somewhere.’
He noticed. Was it because he tried to message me on Teams and saw I was away? Did he try to email me and see my out-of-office? Had he come by my desk to pester me with some Arrowmile-related questions? Had he missed me, when he realized I was gone?
