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She says nothing.
“I went against my dad’s wishes and followed you into the city, and do you know what I saw Aspen?” I pause for a beat or two and wait for her to respond, but she just shakes her head from side to side. “You. I saw you Aspen; flourishing. You were your own person; you were finding a new dream without me or anyone here in Lovelock Bay.” I choke, my voice cracking, my heart hurts and I swear it is cracking in my chest, slowly disintegrating as I finally speak my truth.
I catch her glassy eyes volleying back and forth between mine, a tear rolling down her cheek and I am desperate to wipe it away, but I don’t. I watch as she angrily swipes it away.
“I wanted you to live the life you wanted Aspen, a life you deserved and that meant a life without me,” I sniffle, my throat tight and my voice thick. “But the truth was Aspen, Istillwanted you after everything happened between you and Pacey. You moved on, your world spun and you thrived whilst we all stayed here, frozen in time it seemed.” I scrub my face, “I even ran out into the rain on prom night, but you were already gone.”
Curling my fingers round the steering wheel, I tighten my grip and look straight ahead of me and out of the windscreen.
“I wanted you Riggs. I wanted it all with you. I left because I didn’t think you wanted me… I couldn’t bear to live so close to you knowing that you didn’t feel the same. The shame and embarrassment I felt after prom night was too much, I love all of you, but you, Riggs. You were the one for me. It’s always been you,” and my heart thumps a little harder, a little stronger as slowly, the pieces seem to fix back into place. “But I just need a minute to absorb all of this,” she unbuckles herself and reaches for her bag by her feet and opens the truck door.
“I’m not mad at you Riggs, not even a little bit. I just feel like my life would have been so different if I had known the truth,” she gives me a sad smile and I will for her to look at me, but she doesn’t. She slips out the door and slams it shut and instead of following, I listen to her demands.
Like I always do.
Just like I did with my dad when I let the only girl I have ever truly loved, walk away.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-TWO
ASPEN
Riggs words replay in my head on a loop. He never stood me up, he never regretted asking me to prom and he never changed his mind. He put on his tux and was ready to walk out the door, yet he never made it to me because of his father.
I get it.
I do.
Work is important, but so were my feelings for Riggs Rivera.
Confusion consumes me with a hint of sadness, and I feel like our weekend has been somehow tainted.
Tarnished like overworn silver.
Pushing through the door of my house, I sigh when I realise I’ve left my luggage in the back of Riggs’ truck.
“Sweetie?” my mom calls as she rounds the corner of the kitchen and smiles when she sees me, her arms wide as she waits to embrace me and I run into her open arms, tightening my grip around her body and I cling onto her like a needy toddler.
“Are you okay?”
I nod as I choke out sobs that seep into her t-shirt.
“Oh Aspen,” she coos, wrapping her arms a little tighter round me as she lets me cry it out. I feel ashamed for crying, but it’s true what I said to Riggs, if I knew his truth, if I knew how he really felt my whole life would have been different. I forced myself to love a man because my true love didn’t want me back. But that all changed minutes ago when Riggs poured his heart and soul out to me in his truck.
“You don’t have to say anything, but are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?” I shake my head from side to side as I sniffle, my intake of breath stuttering at the back of my throat.
“Okay,” she places her mouth on the top of my head and places a soft kiss.
After a moment or two, I unwrap myself from her and run my ring fingers under my now puffy, bloodshot eyes.
“Go upstairs, I’ll bring you a nice cup of tea up,” my mom smiles sweetly at me and all I can do is nod.
Tightening my fingers round the strap of my bag, I begin to walk up the stairs and I somehow feel a little heavier since Riggs’ admission.
Flopping onto my bed, my whole room reminds me of him. I feel like his scent is on everything and it feels like a comfort blanket swaddled around me. I curl on my bed and instantly my head is filled withexileby Taylor Swift.
I’m not alone long when my mom perches herself on the edge of my bed as she reaches and places my tea on the nightstand. Her hand resting on my forehead as her fingers delicately brush the few strands away from my eyes.
“It’ll be okay, it always works out in the end,” she says softly, and I tremble.
