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I let out a deep exhale, my head resting on the headrest as I turn my face to Riggs. He mirrors me, resting his own head but facing me. He scoops my hand in his and brings the back of it to his lips, soft butterfly kisses trailing back and forth and my skin pebbles.
“I don’t want to know what life feels like without you,” my voice cracks and I have no idea why I am suddenly feeling so emotional and overwhelmed.
“Baby,” I don’t miss the concern that is wrapped in his gravelly tone, “you never have to imagine what a life without me feels like. We’re endgame Wildflower, it’s me and you against the world. I let you slip from my grasp once, there is no way I am letting you go again.”
He drops my hand from his and brushes his thumb against my cheek, my eyes cast down as I steady my breathing for a moment.
“Why didn’t you stop me from leaving?” my eyes lift, and I feel my soul shatter at the emotions that hide behind his eyes.
“I…” he rasps then pauses for a moment, rubbing his hand under his beard.
“I wanted you to beg me to stay Riggs,” my voice cracks.
I hear him sigh.
“Would you have stayed?” he asks deadpan, and I open my mouth before shutting it again. Because honestly, I probably wouldn’t have. I wanted out. I felt suffocated here when I was younger and I felt after my accident I was destined for so much more than what this small town had to offer.
I shake my head from side to side and I hear the deep sigh that fills his lungs.
“I suppose everything changed after prom night…” I trail off and I feel my heart thump a little louder in my chest.
“I’ll regret that night for the rest of my life,” his voice is low as his fingers link through mine and gives my hand a tight squeeze and I smile as my head casts down, my eyes fluttering shut. “I should have never listened to my dad.”
I blink. Snapping my head up, I turn to look at him.
“What do you mean?” I pinch my brows and my heart skips a nervous beat.
“My dad told me not to take you to prom, told me not to go there with you because work with your dad was too important. He thought I was going to fuck their deal up or some shit…” he pauses and I can see the remorse in his eyes.
“Riggs,” I whisper, because if I say his name aloud, he will hear the sadness in my voice. And everything I once thought about Riggs was about to change in this moment.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE
RIGGS
“Isuppose everything changed after prom night…” and I hear the sadness in her voice as she trails off and falls silent. The blood thumps in my ears almost deafening me. Now is my time to come clean. After all of these years of her thinking I didn’t want to take her to prom, all the years thinking I rejected her which pushed her into Pacey’s arms all comes down to this moment right here.
“I’ll regret that night for the rest of my life,” my voice is low, almost a whisper as my fingers link through hers and I give her small, warm hand a tight squeeze. I watch her with intent, memorising every feature of her in case she gets out of this truck and never looks back. I watch as her lips tug at the sides, a sweet smile playing on her lips as she lets her head dip and her eyelids flutter to hide her beautiful hazel eyes. “I should have never listened to my dad.”
“What do you mean?” Her head snaps up, her face turning to face me as her brows crease along her beautiful face.
I swallow.
It’s now or never.
“My dad told me not to take you to prom, told me not to go there with you because work with your dad was too important. He thought I was going to fuck their deal up or some shit…” I pause and remorse flicks through my eyes, guilt squeezing my heart.
“Riggs,” she whispers, and I can see the sadness behind her eyes and my heart drops. Suddenly my chest aches and I ignore the want to rub the ache away. The pain that radiates from her is crystal clear and I feel like I’ve ripped the band-aid off a bullet hole, knowing full well I’ll never be able to stop the bleeding.
My throat is thick and my heart is galloping like a wild horse in my chest.
“He told me that I would ruin you by keeping you in Lovelock Bay. He knew you liked me and that I liked you, but he didn’t want me to keep you caged and living in a life that you never really wanted. You were so passionate about your dreams and getting out of this town that I didn’t want to be the one to hold you back.” I give her hand another squeeze but her small hand feels loose around my grip and suddenly she pulls it from mine.
“You should have followed me instead of listening to your dad! You should have shown me that you wanted me Riggs because honestly, I alwaysjustfelt like Austin’s kid sister to you!” she raises her voice now and she has every right to.
I feel my own rage bubbling away inside of me, I hate that I have made her upset and angry.
“I did follow!” I finally snap and her wide honey eyes steady on mine.
