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He gives me a curt nod as he steps past me to go and find Austin. Pacey bounds towards me, wrapping me in his arms, lifting me off the floor and I squeal. I can hear the heavy sigh from Riggs, and I roll my eyes.
“Wanna hang out later? It’s been forever and I really want to just sit and chat,” he asks as my feet land on the floor gently.
“Yeah, cool, sounds good,” I nod, smiling from ear to ear. Pacey was my best friend growing up. Yes, I had Harlow. But there was something about me and Pacey that was just different. But that friendship grew into something more for one of us and after prom night, all it took was one mistake to blow everything up.
“Perfect,” he leans in and kisses me on the cheek, but he lingers a little longer and my cheeks blush crimson under his lips. He walks towards the kitchen and Riggs steps into the house. His eyes are glazed with annoyance, his lips pressed to a thin line and his jaw tight and wound.
“Merry Christmas,” I just about manage through the thickness of my throat, but he doesn’t respond. He walks straight past me, not even acknowledging me.
What an asshole. I slam the front door with a little more force than intended but he makes me so mad. He makes my blood boil.
Maybe we’ve just grown too far apart, grown too far from the seventeen-and twenty-one-year-olds we were all those years ago.
Some relationships are just too strained to repair. I was so stupid to think that we could ever work. He lived for this life.
And I wanted so much more. Though look where wanting more had gotten me.
I didn’t want to be grounded here, but, who was I kidding? If being grounded here meant I got to love him every day, I would have stayed wherever he wanted me to.
What a sad truth.
Slowly walking into the large kitchen area where everyone seemed to be huddled, I walk through them all, reaching for the bottle of red and grabbing a large wine glass. The satisfying glug of wine leaving the bottle and filling my glass soothes my rage.
“Aspen,” my mom blinks at me and I give her a wink.
“It’s Christmas,” I shrug my shoulders and walk towards the living area. I flop down on the sofa as a large sigh leaves me, puffing air from my lips and causing a light bit of hair to lift from my forehead.
“What’s eating you?” Pacey climbs over the back of the sofa and slumps down next to me and I smile.
“Life,” I half laugh as I turn my face to look at him.
Why couldn’t I have fallen for him. He was perfect, in every single way.
“Talk to me, we’re friends, well… we were,” he nudges into me, “no but seriously, talk to me… what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
I keep quiet for a moment, lifting my legs and resting my feet on the large, rectangular coffee table that sits on a low pile ornate rug.
Letting my head fall back against the leather brown sofa, I turn my face in the opposite direction and let my eyes roam over Riggs.
Cream cable knit jumper, fitted straight leg jeans and heavy black boots. His curly brown hair was neatly styled and not unruly and flat like it normally is. His beard trimmed, his skin glowing and dewy and his eyes are glistening under the kitchen spotlights as he talks to my dad.
Ignoring the stutter of my heart in my chest, I turn back to face Pacey.
“It feels weird being back here, I left home in such a rush that I am still trying to come to terms with everything that had happened before coming back to Lovelock Bay.” I lift the glass back to my lips and take a mouthful, my eyes scanning the room to see Butch curled up by the open fire and a small smile tugs at the corner of my lips.
“What happened?” Pacey asks and I know he is genuinely concerned and my face drops, my eyes welling as I look at the engagement ring that is still sitting on my finger. I part my lips, ready to speak to him but I am reminded of what Luke said and for some reason, Istilldecide to protect him.
“Maybe another day, yeah? I don’t want to put a dampener on Christmas,” I rest my head on his shoulder and emotions consume me.
The sound of the fire crackling fills the room, the voices from the kitchen floating through occasionally and I am only honing in on Riggs.
“I’m sorry for running and being a shitty friend,” I whisper, because I can’t muster the courage to say the words out loud.
“Hey,” Pacey whispers back, leaning away from me so I have no choice but to lift my head from his shoulder. My eyes widen as I look at him through the windows of his soul. “You have nothing to be sorry for… I was as much to blame for that shit storm that hit us all, none of it should have happened but it did. I’m not sorry for prom night though, Penny, I’m not sorry at all for that. That one moment was hands down the best night of my life.” He stalls for a moment, his eyes batting back and forth between mine before they drop to my lips. “I know I wasn’t the one you wanted, but I am glad it was me. I know that makes me selfish, but I don’t care.”
His lips grow into a wider smile, and I drop my head, a soft laugh leaving me.
“Honestly Aspen, don’t you apologize. Tripp was just… well, being protective I suppose. He didn’t mean anything he said… and Riggs… well…” he sighs, looking over my shoulder at his older brother and I avoid doing the same.
