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We continue this, Aspen stroking the horses’ necks, then me leading them back to the stalls.
“Last one,” I smile as I turn the horse and slowly walk into the stall when Aspen pauses and points at the flask and flowers. “Ah,” I scoff, “they’re for you,” I shrug as I walk the dun mare into her stable and bolt the door.
Hanging up the last head collar, I turn and see Aspen holding the brownie and the flask and I smile. Walking past her, I pick up the flowers and hold them in front of Aspen.
“I’m sorry for earlier…” the words feel lodged in the back of my throat, “I shouldn’t have said any of that to you. I was just…” I pause and Aspen sniffles, licking her top lip.
“Being an asshole,” she smirks as she takes a mouthful of her cocoa and I watch as she sags slightly.
“Good?”
“So good, your mom always made the best cocoa,” she chimes.
“She really does,” I twist and place the wildflowers on the hay bales. Silence surrounds us for a moment as she takes another mouthful and unwraps her brownie. “I heard you’re going out on a date this Friday,” the words taste bitter on my tongue.
“What’s it to you Mr. Rivera?”
“It’s a lot to me actually.” My tone is flat, my voice gruff.
“And why is that?” her brows lift, her lips pushing into a pout.
“Because I wanna take you out. I don’t want you dating captain douchebag.”
She giggles, covering her mouth with the unwrapped brownie.
“Hey, he isn’t a douchebag; he is actually really nice,” she smirks, “and also, who said it was a date? I’m engaged… I’m not really on the market for dating,” she shrugs, and I feel the fire burning deep inside of me.
“Is that so?” I step forward which causes her to step back until she has nowhere else to go, so she is cornered.
“Yes,” she just about manages to breathe out.
“Then where is your pretty fucking ring?” my eyes scope to her empty finger.
“I’m keeping it safe,” she stammers, her fingers tightening around the thermos.
“Bullshit,” I growl.
“Don’t believe me then,” she looks away from me, turning her face to stare at the wall. Placing my hands either side of her, I box her in.
“I don’t believe you,” my voice is low and slow, but my heart is jackhammering in my chest. “Because Aspen, if you were fucking mine there is no way in hell I would let you take that ring off. I would want everyone to know that you belonged to me. The fact that your poor excuse of afiancéhasn’t been by to see you once tells me that something isn’t ringing true. So just tell me the truth, because either way, I’m not letting you out of my grasp again.”
“I don’t have to tell you anything. I have no idea what you have going on in your fucked up head but I don’t want to be yours. You hate me, I hate you. We had a moment many years ago but you ruined that. You didn’t even bother to check in on me when I left. You shut me out Riggs. You’ve been horrid to me ever since I came back. You’ve ignored me for the best part of three months and now because you find out that I am going out with Conrad you think that you can put some burly claim on me?” her eyes volley back and forth between mine and it’s taking everything in me right now not to fucking kiss her just to shut her up.
I press my body up close to her so she can feeleverything.
“Tell me, Wildflower…” I rasp, lowering my face to hers, my eyes falling to her lips, “does this feel like I hate you?” My evident bulge is pushing against her and I hear a light gasp leave her. “I haveneverhated you Aspen, not once in my entire fucking life. Do you want to know who I hated?” I pause for a moment, but she says nothing. “I hated myself. I hated myself for not stopping you from leaving, I hated myself for not going to prom with you, I hated myself for pushing you into Pacey’s arms when all I wanted was to hold you in mine. I hate myself, Aspen, I wholly loathe myself over what I’ve done to you. But now that you’re back, you’re not going anywhere.”
My breaths are ragged, my heart is jumping around in my chest and all she can do in response to my outburst is to slap me. Hard.
The sting of her hand on my cold skin is enough to make my eyes water. She ducks out from under me, dropping the cocoa and brownie on the floor as she tries to get away from me. I reach forward, wrapping my fingers around her wrist and pull her into me, our bodies slamming together.
“Don’t run from me,” I plead with her, her honey eyes glassing over and my heart squeezes in my chest.
“I’m not the same Aspen that up and left all those years ago Riggs.”
“You’re right, you’re not… because that Aspen wasn’t mine, but you…” I pause,
“you are.”
