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Silence fills the stalls for a moment and her eyes bat back and forth between my eyes and lips. The tears evident and I have to fight the urge to not swipe the ones that have escaped with my thumb pad.
“I can’t do this Riggs, I’m sorry.” Her voice cracks and it destroys me. “I’m not some toy you can pick up and play with when you feel like it Riggs. I have feelings, and my feelings for you were left behind with my broken heart on prom night. I’m sorry, but I’ll never be yours,” she drops her head and I just stand there as I watch her walk away. Her words wind me, causing me to gasp for air, my lungs burning as they beg for oxygen. My fingers dig into my chest, applying pressure for me to feel something other than heartache.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
ASPEN
What the fuck.
What the fuck.
What. The. Fuck!
My hands are pressed against my cheeks, my mind racing as I replay the events that just unfolded on repeat in my head.
“This is such a mind fuck,” I whisper, letting my fingers drag down my cheeks and slip off my jaw.
I pace up and down my room, my hands now on my hips.
The way he cornered me, the way he pressed himself up against me toshowme how much he didn’t hate me.
He ignores me for months. Literal months. Every time I walked into a room, he walked out. Anywhere I was, he wasn’t.
But now, because he has found out I am going out with Conrad on Friday, he wants to put some claim on me.
Well fuck you Riggs Rivera.
Fuck you.
* * *
Finally rolling out of bed,my eyes sting. I hardly slept. My evening was spent with my eyes pinned to the ceiling just playing everything on a constant loop. I didn’t have to get up now, but I also didn’t want to wallow in self-pity even though I didn’t really understand why I felt a slither of the emotion that was weighing heavy on my chest. I walked away from Riggs. He laid everything out and because I got scared, I ran. Again.
Slipping my feet into my slippers, my room is cold and I shudder, wrapping my arms around myself. Why had I thought wearing a cotton vest and matching short set was a good idea? Checking the clock, it’s just past eight. I hear the tiny tip tap of feet and smile when I see Butch round the bedroom door.
“Hey there bud,” I crouch down and stroke him before I pick him up and hold onto him like a little hot water bottle. His tongue darts out, licking my chin softly. “Let’s go get a coffee,” I kiss the top of his fluffy head.
Walking downstairs, still holding onto Butch I put him down when I hit the bottom step and he scampers off towards the back of the house.
“Mom, dad?” I call out, but I am greeted with silence and shrug my shoulders up. Pacing down the hall and into the kitchen, I fill the coffee machine with water and replace the filter. Switching it on, it takes a moment or two to kick in before it begins to warm.
Leaning over the countertop, I drum my fingers against the worktop while I wait.
Ten years ago, I would have done anything to have Riggs Rivera tell me I was his. That’s all I wanted. Even after he broke me into a million pieces, I would have still glued myself back together again. Because if he’d have said ‘jump’, I was that kind of girl to say ‘how high’.
But now?
I’m not such a rollover.
Being away from Luke has made me realize how much I hated who I’d become. I hated everything about who I was. I was like a Stepford wife, so busy doing everything to makehimhappy that I forgot what made me happy. After my accident, small pieces of my soul and make up chipped away because I was broken in ways I never thought was possible.
I adored that Aspen.
The Aspen I am now? Not so much.
But I was on the way to getting the old me back.
I look over my shoulder to where my dad’s office sits, my laptop becoming part of the furniture as it sits with a dead battery and thousands of words that will never see the light of day.
