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Riggs is back toe-to-toe with me, towering over me and his large frame shadows me in an instant. A slow and sexy smirk pulling at his lips as his eyes dance with mine.
“I don’t make threats darlin’.” His hand curls round my hip as he pulls me into him again, his erection evident as it pushes against me. “Go on your little date on Friday and see what happens,” his voice is raspy, a guttural groan vibrating in his throat. His eyes darting across my face and I focus on the way his throat bobs.
“Oh, I am going, you don’t need to tell me.” I yank his hand from my body, storming away and before he can even think about following me, Tripp calls him back into the kitchen.
A victorious smile graces my lips as I walk to my bedroom and slam the door behind me.
* * *
Sittingat my dad’s desk, my eyes are fixated on the views in front of me, my mind wandering back to this morning. I am ashamed that I let Riggs devour me. I mean, it was hot and it definitely took me away from everything that has been happening, but it shouldn’t have happened. We crossed a line that we shouldn’t have crossed. It was risky and stupid and now he feels like he has some sort of claim on me. Years ago, I would have been a puddle on the floor for Riggs, and now, well I’m smarter. So much went on between us all that I don’t think we can really be anything more than acquaintances and things being justfinebetween us.
Opening my laptop, I inhale deeply as I push the button on and give it a minute to come to life.
I click into the blank word document, my fingers hovering over the keyboard and all my mind fills with is me and Riggs. Everything before, everything between and everything after Riggs. A rush of emotions swarm me; I can’t pinpoint a single one and it takes me a moment to realise that words are spilling from me, my eyes fixated to the screen. I feel like everything I have been carrying around with me for the past twenty years is slowly lifting from me, and it all begins from when I first met Riggs.
While the words are flowing I lose track of time until I suddenly feel stiff. Lifting my arms above my head and rolling my neck round. Lifting my head above my laptop screen, I see it’s already evening and I have been sitting at my laptop most of the day.
“How’s it going?”
I turn to see my mom walking towards me with a steaming hot coffee.
“Okay I think,” I half shrug as I take the mug from her and wrap my fingers round it, embracing the warmth that radiates through me. “Well, okay for something that is going to sit on my desktop for months on end and never to see the light of day.”
My mom slumps down next to me on the armchair and puffs out her cheeks.
“I don’t know… I have a good feeling about this one.”
I snort a laugh. “Mom, you say that about every book I try to write.”
“It’s because I believe that this is your calling. You’ve just not writtentheone abouttheone. You need your own love story to be able to pour your feelings into the words.”
I twist around to look at her, tucking my knees under myself as I drink the frothy coffee she made me, then let out a little moan in appreciation at how good it tastes. I lick the froth from my lips and let my eyes fall to my mug.
“Maybe this isn’t what I am destined to do. I went to college to study, ended up engaged to a Hollywood actor and now I am back here and in limbo. I don’t quite know where I belong in this world anymore.”
She leans forward and places her hand on my knee, giving it a gentle squeeze as she smiles.
“This is where you’re meant to be. Write the books, help on the farm, live… just don’t go back to Los Angeles.” And I hear the plea in the tone of her voice, it wraps around me like a blanket of guilt.
“I don’t think I’ll be going back to LA mom, or back to Luke for that matter,” I whisper, my throat swells as I turn to look at my now black laptop screen because looking at her is too much.
“I figured that one out sweetheart,” her hand still on my knee.
“I don’t know where it all went so wrong,” my voice cracks and I ignore the tear that rolls down my cheek, the back of her fingers brushing against my warm cheek as she wipes it away.
“You never will my love, these things just happen sometimes. Luke was lovely, I would be lying if I said he wasn’t, but he wasn’t your forever. Call it mom instinct,” she lets out a low chuckle and I sniffle, nodding and willing for the blurriness of unshed tears to leave.
A cough pulls my mom’s attention for a moment, her head turning towards the door and I don’t even have to look in that direction to know it’s Riggs.
“Sorry to interrupt Blue, but Buck needs you,” and my mom lets out an exasperated sigh.
“You okay?” her hand cups my cheek and I give her a weak smile, bobbing my head up and down.
“Okay,” she leans across and places a kiss on the top of my head, lingering for just a moment before she turns and walks out the room, patting Riggs softly on the chest as she does.
Silence crackles, the low, yellow light of the fire burning away filling the void and I fight with myself not to look in his direction.
The sound of his boots echoes round the room and I shudder on my intake of breath. I watch with bloodshot eyes as he sits in the chair opposite me.
