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Sucking in a breath, I ignore the way my lungs burn and my eyes sting. His dark and hooded eyes are pinned to mine and suddenly, the weight that was crushing down on me was slowly being lifted.
“Are you okay?” His voice is quiet and soft, concern lacing it tightly. His whole demeanour changing in a moment, he goes from hard and cold to soft and slouched within a matter of seconds.
“Depends on what your definition of okay is.” My tone is clipped and my eyes fall to the cup of coffee that sits in my lap.
“Who upset you?” he runs his index finger along his bottom lip, his leg crossing over his lap as he keeps his heavy gaze on me.
I sigh. “I upset myself,” I lick my lips free of a salty tear that escaped and ran down my tear-stained cheek. I hear the heavy inhale of breath that Riggs takes and I suddenly feel small.
“I’m always here for you,” he whispers into the room and my heart stammers in my chest.
I nod, because I am scared at what might come out of my mouth. I don’t want towantRiggs. Everything that happened all those years ago is already bubbling on the surface, the cracks are beginning to show and I don’t want to fall down the slippery slope of what was my past.
He stands, walking slowly and cautiously over to where I am sitting, knees up around my chest, nose red and eyes bloodshot. He stops, his neck craned down as he looks at me, his large hand slipping from his jean pocket before fisting it back inside as if he changed his mind. I look up at him, eyes glassy, bottom lip trembling as my chin wobbles and suddenly I feel needy of him. Bending over, his lips hover over my forehead before slowly edging them towards my skin and placing a soft kiss there, lingering for a moment or two as I hear him inhale heavily through his nose.
I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tightly like a child not wanting to let go of their favorite teddy bear. I cling onto Riggs like he is my lifeline.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
ASPEN
Riggs kept his distance for the rest of the week, and I was unsure if that was a good or bad thing. We crossed a line. We both knew that. It was a heavenly, explosive line but it was still something that I should have stopped myself doing. But when it comes to Riggs, everything blurs around me and all I can focus on is him.
Unlocking my McLaren, I suddenly feel embarrassed to even get into it, but if I want to catch Clay’s attention then this is the way to do it. I wince when I see the damage to the back of the car, I know I need to get it fixed but it hasn’t been at the top of my priority list.
But getting finger fucked by your brother’s best friend has?My subconscious curls her lip in disgust.
I haven’t driven it since the first day I pulled up here with just my dog, my laptop and the clothes on my back. Even though it was a few months ago, it feels like a lifetime since all of it happened. I have no idea whether Luke and Tammy are still together, I haven’t been on socials, I have no phone and I’m okay with that. I don’t miss it. I don’t miss the constant need to check what was happening every five minutes. But being back home, having the views and my family supporting me is everything I did need, I just didn’t realise how much.
Unlocking the car, I swing the butterfly wing doors open and lean into the seat, placing my laptop on the passenger seat. I hear a low growl from behind me and roll my eyes in an exaggerated manner. Pushing back, I stand and it takes me a moment to steady myself on my heeled boots. I have lived in sneakers, cowboy boots and work boots for the last few months so heels feel unfamiliar to me suddenly.
“What?” I spin and I am met with a smirking Riggs, his eyes alight with something that dances with the greens of his eyes.
“Nothing,” he snorts but he gives me the once over, studying my outfit.
Lowering my chin to my chest, my brows pinch as I look down at myself. I am wearing an off-white jersey dress in a boucle fabric. A soft collar sits open and three out of the four gold buttons are open, revealing maybe a little too much cleavage. Two fakepockets sit on each of my breasts and have matching gold buttons. The sleeves are short and capped and I personally think I look every bit business woman.
“Do you not like the dress?” my head lifts and my eyes burn into his. I have gold hoops sitting in each ear lobe and my dirty blonde hair sits in a styled blowout, layered bangs framing my face.
“That’s the problem kid, Ireallylike the dress. It’s just a shame it’s on your body and not on my bedroom floor,” he grins a boyish smile, his eyes lower and I feel the crimson hit my cheeks as a nervous giggle rolls out of me.
“Riggs, honey,” I flick my hair over my shoulder, “I’ve told you there is nothing between you and I, and there will never be.” I shrug my shoulders up before giving him a wink as I lower my black square glasses to cover my eyes.
“I see the city princess is back,” he tuts, shaking his head from side to side and for some reason his words hurt me, twisting something like disappointment deep in my stomach but I don’t let him see how they affected me.
“So it seems,” I scrunch my nose and turn my back on him, before slipping into the car. I start the engine, and when I turn to look up at him, he has gone.
He gives me whiplash, I don’t want him to be any particular way with me. I just either want nice Riggs or asshole Riggs. At least that way I know which one I am getting all the time.
He is so hot and cold.
Sighing and puffing my cheeks out, I pull the door down and close it before pushing the car into reverse and driving down the driveway towards Sunny’s.
The drive was only short, and once I passed the neighboring ranches and farms I was slowing down on the approach of the small town I grew up in. The small school just before the town was where my parents sent me and the whole school had about fifty students. We all knew each other and so did our families. This wasn’t just a town. It was a family. A Lovelock Bay family. I scan the street for a parking spot and get one just outside of Sunny’s. The town is thriving, the flower shop blooming, the green grocers busy with town folk doing their weekend shopping and the butchers also queuing out the door. I used to love sneaking into the back of the library and inhaling the scent of the old dusty books whilst eating a freshly made buttercream cupcake that I used to spend my cents on every Saturday morning. My mouth waters at the memory and I make a mental note to pop into the bakery at some point.
Cutting the noisy engine, I feel eyes on me. Some will recognise me, some won’t, and I am just hoping that no one mentions my name whilst I am sitting with Clay. Grabbing my laptop, I swing the door open and climb out delicately whilst trying not to flash the town my dignity.
Locking the doors, I keep my head down as I walk quickly across the maple tree lined sidewalks and slip into Sunny’s. The small bell above my head chimes and I look around finding a small table that faces the sidewalk and I make camp there. Popping my laptop down on the hard surface, I look round the cosy coffee house and smile. The smell of the coffee aromas mixed with the sweetness of muffins, cakes and pies that sit all pretty on the countertop. I am famished.
