AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Joel!”
“Vodka,” he says in a low voice. “Think of it as a balm to the nightmare.”
I wrinkle my nose, but I drink the rest of it. Just another swallow or two, then I hand it back. I don’t like the way it tastes, but the smoldering fire in my belly is nice.
“Okay,” I breathe. “Kissing me would help, too.”
He obliges. His hands wander, creeping up to palm my breast, pinching my nipple. An ache starts between my legs, and I squeeze my legs together. He smiles against my lips, and his fingers slip under my panties.
His fingers push me over the edge quickly, the climax crashing over me. I arch, gasping into his mouth. The vodka has made me feel warm, and the orgasm doubles it. I can barely keep my eyes open, and I don’t fight when he wraps my hand around his erection.
It brings flashbacks to Knox.
Unwanted ones.
The look in his eye, the feel of his hand in my hair. The smell and taste of him as I choked?—
Joel groans. I rise on my elbow and eye him. Then crawl lower, dipping my head and taking him in my mouth. I use my hand and my mouth, and he never touches my head. He groans and warns me when he’s about to come. There’s a split second when I consider swallowing, but I pull away and finish him with my saliva-slickened hand instead.
Ropes of cum shoot up onto his stomach, and he sighs. “I fucking love your mouth.”
I hum. We clean up and drop back into bed, satiated. The nightmare all but forgotten.
He falls asleep quickly, while I stare at the ceiling. Ishouldfall asleep fast, but I’m left struggling not to toss and turn. And to not think about the blood.
Or Knox.
A new ache—or the same one again, maybe—starts between my legs.
I shouldn’t want what he did to me. I should be focused on the man in my bed, who is arrogant and sweet at the same time, who is confident and in love with me.
Instead, I am just a terrible person.
A terrible person who needs to tell Joel the truth. No matter the consequences.
In the morning, Joel finds me curled on my sofa. I’ve got a cup of coffee in my hands, a blanket over my lap. And I’ve been staring at the black screen of the television for the last twenty minutes.
“Good morning,” he greets me, kissing the top of my head. He pours himself coffee and wanders back. “You’re up early.”
I shift. “I have to tell you something.”
God, he’s handsome. Crashing into him on the ice is a vivid memory. Feeling his weight press down on me, and then the easy strength in lifting me back to my feet. His quick smile. Dinner with Beth. And then dinner alone.
Things with Joel have always been easy. It was easy to decide to go on a second date with him, then a third. Easy to talk to him on the phone, to talk about things like my mom and my childhood. Although Knox was always left out of it. Joel is a warm bath that you can slip into at the end of a long day. He’s the peace that awaits you when you’re tired and miserable.
I didn’t have any doubt about his commitment. Or his proposal. Or the decision to move to Denver. It was just… simple.
I liked it. I liked that things with him were uncomplicated, because theotherrelationship was too complicated to even unknot.
But now… well, now we’re complicated, too.
“You seem worried,” he comments.
“It’s because I don’t know how you’re going to take it.” I set aside my coffee. “I…”
“It’s okay.”
He sets his aside, too, and takes my hands. He’s so sweet. Maybe some people wouldn’t find that attractive, but I do. His sweetness, his caring. He has quirks, sure, but what hockey player doesn’t? He has rituals and sometimes he goes quiet, usually leading up to a game or just following it.
