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Which makes this extra hard, because I know there’s the part of him that’s still processing the game. Still working through what he could’ve done differently.
I once asked him what he dreamed about, and he said hockey. No hesitation. Past games, made-up games, old tapes of playoff games where he self-inserts into the goaltender’s position.
Such an easy answer, I almost questioned it as a lie. But I chose not to, at the time, because I didn’t want to look deeper.
But now I’m wondering if he ever gets nightmares beyond losing the seventh game of the championship series. Probably. He’s human.
A human who hasn’t introduced me to any of his family, but still.
It’s not like I brought him home to meet my father and his new girlfriend.
“I’m married,” I blurt out.
He stops. His brow furrows.
“I’m working on getting a divorce, but it’s… he’s not cooperating.” I wince. “I should’ve told you before. A while ago. But it’s just been hard, and when you asked me to marryyou?—”
“Are you saying you don’t want to marry me?” he interrupts.
“No! No, of course I want to marry you. I just can’t until he signs the divorce papers.” And I should definitely tell him who theheis, but I can’t seem to say his name. “I’m sorry, Joel, I lied to you and I feel awful, but I didn’t want to put off telling you any longer.”
Another lie.
If Knox wasn’t forcing my hand, I probably wouldn’t have said anything. Ever.
Joel considers me carefully. The sleepiness has vanished, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s considering it. All sides of what I’ve told him.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” he asks.
I jerk. “Absolutely not.”
“I just… Who did you marry? Who is this guy?” His voice is cautious. Like he’s trying to work out a puzzle. “You’re twenty-three, Aurora. When did you get married?”
“It happened years ago.” I grip his hands tighter. “It’s, um… Knox.”
The realization crashes into him. I watch it morph his expression from slightly hurt tofuriousin a second, and he yanks his hands away from me.
“You’re married to Knox Whiteshaw.”
“Yes,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t think that was something I should’ve knownmonthsago?” He stands. “Jesus, Aurora, you’re married to my teammate?”
“Yournewteammate,” I argue, rising to face him. “I didn’t know he’d be traded to the Titans. I’m not a mind reader.”
“And I’m a fool.” He laughs. “Fuck. This explains his asinine behavior, at the very least. And I’ve been walking around clueless. Do you have any idea how that feels?”
I cringe, but he’s completely right.
“This explains so fucking much,” he says, more to himself than me. “Why, as soon as I brought you around to the guys, he started acting like an asshole toward me. Your little game with the two of us cost usgames, Aurora. This is my career at stake.”
I scoff.
The reason they lost their first game is because of Luke pulling the strings, notme. But I can’t say that without giving away the rest of my lies, so I keep my mouth shut.
He takes my hand, squeezing it. “In case you need this spelled out for you—we’re done.”
He pulls the ring from my finger, staring at the diamond for a long moment. Then he tucks it in his pocket and disappears into the bedroom.
