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“I did.” His jaw clenches. I’m not sure what I’ve said, but he’s grinding his teeth—most people don’t do that when they’re happy, right?
I plant myself on a stool and watch as he tinkers with a blue mountain bike. “Where did you learn to do this?”
He pauses, looking out, and it’s like I can see him contemplating if he’s going to tell me or not. “I’ve worked at the Bike-A-Lot since I was fourteen. The owner taught me. He’s traveling these days, and while he’s still the owner, I run everything.”
“Fourteen?” I was reading books and watching Disney Channel at home. I still haven’t ever had a job. But Levi. He was working at such a young age.
“My stepdad had left, and while he was paying the minimum amount of child support he could, I’m not his child. He covered for Miles, Owen, and Coop.” Levi shakes his head. “Not me. Our mom was trying to make ends meet and raise four boys on a teacher’s salary. So, the second I was old enough, I got a job. I’ve been here ever since.”
“Owen and Coop…” I say, thinking about all he’s confessed. Levi Bailey is talking to me.
“My other brothers.”
“You have a sister and three brothers.” I let out an unbelieving breath. Awowin the form of air. “I don’t have any siblings.”
“None?”
“No. My mom died when I was just three. My dad never remarried.” And he made certain thatnothingwould ever happen to me too. And nothing did.Ever. Good or bad.
He stops turning the silver tool in his hand. I don’t know what it’s called or what it does—but it stops. Levi turns his head to look at me. “I’m sorry, Meredith.”
I press my lips in on one another. Has anyone told me they were sorry for my loss before? I have a very small three-year-old memory of neighbors and family members coming and telling my father sorry. But me?
I swallow past the lump forming in my throat. Still, no words come, so I shake my head and lift one shoulder in answer.
When Levi returns to his work, I find my voice again. He is a treasure box, and now that he’s opening up, I want to hear all that he has to say. “You never went to college, then?”
“No,” he says, and I ignore the gruffness in his voice. It’s just sort of there. I don’t think he means anything by it.
“Me either!” Although, I could have gone online. I wish I had taken a few classes. I wanted to go in person but Dad wasn’t ready to let me. So, I didn’t go at all. “Did you want to?”
His work stops again, but this time with an exasperated breath. He sets both hands on his thighs, the silver ratchet tool clasped in one of his fists. “You know, it’s hard to work and talk. Maybe you should go look around. I’ll be out in a while.”
“Sure.” I swallow, another lump forming, but this one a result of disappointment.
14
Levi
Ilock the shop door and turn over the open sign. Mom is going out with friends again. I suppose she’s got lost time to make up for. But lamely, that leaves me unsure of where I stand. I’d work, then go home to make her dinner and help take care of her. Now, she doesn’t need that care. Where does that leave me?
Cycling lessons.
That’s where.
When I turn around, Meredith already has a helmet in her hands. This only brings on the guilt. Guilt, that I have every right to feel.
I walk over to the girl, reaching for the helmet that’s two sizes too small. “This one,” I say, taking the helmet from her and brushing my fingers over hers in the process, “is for a child. Let me get one that will fit you better.”
“Did you just call my head big?”
I chuckle. “Did you just make a joke?”
Her full lips sprout into a joyful grin that lights up her face. “I did. I’m funny.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” I find the right size helmet—something I should have done last time. How could I have misjudged the situation so badly? When I peer down at her, I see the pink ripple of skin on her head, the one-inch scar that will forever adorn her because I lacked judgment and didn’t take care when teaching someone.
I hold the helmet at my side and lift my free hand. She touchedmyhair today. Why can’t I return the gesture? I run the pad of my thumb over the ripple, starting just outside her hairline and across her ivory forehead.
