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Still, I click on the phone next to her name and wait for her to answer. She does, in record time.
“Meredith!” she pipes—but she isn’t at home. Her brown hair is pulled back and she’s got a surgical cap on her head. She’s in a blue scrub top, and there are people and steel equipment behind her.
“Coco? Are you at work? I thought you had a few more weeks home.”
She blows out the corner of her mouth. “Whew! I do! But there was an emergency and the substituting veterinarian couldn’t be reached. I just performed an emergency intestinal blockage surgery.” She gives me a thrilled, lop-sided grin as if she just told me about her vacation plans.
“Whoa.”
“It was great. I just pulled a pair of women’s extra-large undies from a thirty-pound pug.” She giggles, and for a minute I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing.
“It was…great?”
“Bean, the pug, is fine—so yes, all good over here. What’s up? It’s been forever.”
“It has been.” I know that three weeks isn’t forever—but it makes me feel better knowing that she’s missed me too. “I thought we could get together.” I clamp down on my lip and tell myself that I am also not afraid to invite people to do things. But the sting of rejection is fresh and so very painful—I’ve learned this thoroughly. But I’ve also learned that I’d endure the pain to be a part of the good times. “Would tomorrow work?”
“Yes! Let’s do it.”
“Great,” I say, my heart pumping faster. “I haven’t really seen anyone but my thirteen-year-old buddy and my recluse uncle.” I chuckle—holy smokes, it feels good to talk to her. “I’m in my own place now and I need—everything. Could we shop?”
“Your own place? Wow. Meredith, you’re off and running.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t have a bed, but I do have a dishwasher.”
She laughs and pulls the cap off her head. “Shopping. Tomorrow. You’ll need more than your bike, and I’ll have the girls. Where should I pick you up?”
Iwait on the porch steps of my new home, tapping my toes, peering down at my knees and the hem of my blue summer dress. Coco pulls up in her minivan at ten o’clock on the dot. I stand, but she hops from the van.
“Hey,” she calls, trotting over in her ripped jeans and short-sleeved T-shirt. “Lucy kept the girls, so you’ve got me for two whole hours, all to yourself!”
I grin. “That’s great—though I was excited to see Alice. I miss her.”
“She misses you too,” she says, climbing the steps of my home, though I’m ready to go. “I'm pretty sure she’s reamed Levi out every time we see him. Oh.” Her brows pull together. “Am I not supposed to mention him? I’ve given you space—unsure if you’d be ready to see us, and now here I am bringing him up.”
I shrug and shake my head, hoping I give her a look that says—do whatever you want to. “You can mention him. He’s your brother. And I don’t hold any hard feelings for Levi.” I have a lot of feelings when it comes to Levi—but never hate.
“You don’t? I have plenty of hard feelings.”
I try to laugh, but it comes out as a nervous titter. “His thoughts and feelings are his, even if I don't agree with them. They are his, which makes them valid and I won’t hold them against him.” I realize, the minute I say the words, they’re true. I don’t hate Levi. I couldn’t. I truly want happiness for him. Even if that happiness doesn’t include me.
“His feelings and thoughts are crap. He needs to have a little more faith in himself.” She squints, her lips forming a cringy smile. “Aw, sorry. Those are my thoughts and feelings on the matter.”
I chuckle, despite the pain that surfaces in my chest. “Should we go?”
“Wait, I wanna see the place. Will you show me?”
“Oh! Sure. You’re my first official visitor!” I open the door to my tiny bare living room. It looks like the place is still uninhabited.
“Wow. Nice. So, are we shopping for a couch?”
“Um. We’re just gonna see what we find.” I take her to the attached kitchen—which is just as empty. There are at least a few paper plates on the counter along with an empty pizza box—because I don’t even have a garbage can.
“Cute,” she says. “Very empty, but cute. You need everything, don’t you?”
“Yep.” I wave her on. We head up the stairs where there are two empty bedrooms, minuscule in size, and a bathroom that looks at least somewhat lived in. I do have a toothbrush, and I didn’t put it away in the drawer this morning. “That’s it. It’s pretty small.”
“It’s perfect for you.”
