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BELLE
“Ok. We haveten shows in the UK, four in Ireland, four in Germany, and then back to the UK for our last show in Glasgow,” Cal announces in the limo on the way to the airport. We all already know that. Even I know that. He handed out folders with the schedule and all the hotel information for the entire tour.
“No bus?” Willa asks him.
“We have one for part of the UK leg and all of Ireland. We couldn’t get one big enough to block out the sound of your random hook ups in Germany,” Cal says to her.
“Pot meet kettle,” Willa retorts while shoving her middle finger in his face.
I ignore their squabbling and chance a look at Kai. He’s been quiet the entire ride so far, just staring out the window. My brother’s words have been running through my head the past week…that’s not a man who hates you, Belle.He may not hate me, but he certainly doesn’t like me. Being in such close proximity to him is making it hurt so much more. I was usedto ignoring that hollow feeling in my heart where he used to be. Now it’s becoming impossible.
Kai must sense me watching him because his head suddenly turns, and his icy blue eyes lock on mine. I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe a snarl? But what I get is a small smile before he returns his gaze to the window.
What the fuck?Is he messing with me?
I must have imagined that smile. Malikai Irons does not smile at me. Not anymore.
Or maybe he’s remembering how close we were as kids? How much we meant to each other?
Maybe he misses me just as much as I miss him.
“Belle?”
“Huh?” I snap out of my discussion with myself to see Mav staring at me.
“I asked if you saw your mom while you were in town,” he repeats.
“Oh, um. No. I didn’t want to answer questions about…” I trail off and just gesture to the yellowing bruise on my face. I didn’t even tell her I was home and begged Cal to keep it from her.
My mom loves Brad. Or she loves that his mom has money that he would inherit one day. I think part of her was hoping I had found someone to take care of me. At least that’s what I’m trying to make myself believe. Deep down, I know how much appearances matter to my mom. Way more than feelings ever will. A rich son-in-law would look good for her, and she could brag about it to her friends. Who cares what her daughter is suffering to get that for her? Not Paula Griffin, that’s for sure.
My dad left her a few years ago, andshe hasn’t really moved past it. It seems to be a trend in our friend group from what I heard from Cal about Gavin Irons, Kai’s dad.
It shocked me when he told me. Gavin was the fun and loving type of dad. Leaving Adira and Kai without keeping in touch seemed so unlike him. My dad, at least, still calls us to check in. But my dad also hasn’t lost a child.
Mav nods in understanding. I’m looking forward to spending more time with him. Ezra loved him, and I loved Ezra.
I haven’t brought it up, not since that day in the living room of my parent’s house. I don’t even know how to bring up the topic without upsetting Maverick, but I want to know if he thinks Ezra is dead. There’s also the question of why he left so suddenly that night.
But I can’t bring any of that up right now. When Cal took me to Mav’s house yesterday, he warned me that it would be a mess. I still wasn’t prepared for the state Maverick was in. His hair was greasy, there were food stains on his shirt, and the number of takeout containers scattered around his house could fill a construction dumpster. Cal said he always gets like that when they’re home for too long.
Everyone assumes it has something to do with the relationship with his parents that he won’t talk to them about. And I guess that could be part of it, but I know that look I saw in his eyes. The despair and longing that was haunting him. It’s too hard for Mav to be in the place he lost the man he loved. I’m the only one who knows, and I wish they had made me aware, so I could’ve been there for him sooner.
The moment I have the thought, I realize it wouldn’t have mattered. Brad would have found a way to pull me away from Maverick too. Just like he did with everyone else Iever cared about. The sadness that realization brought is now bringing anger. I’m angrier with myself than I am with Brad. I can’t believe I let him do this to me. Let him take everyone from me. The distance made it easier for him, but my lack of fight is really what enabled him to take over my life so easily.
“Finally. Let’s go. The sooner we board the plane, the sooner I can go back to sleep,” Willa says as she jumps out of the limo that had barely stopped moving.
I follow everyone through the security lines and out onto the private tarmac to board the plane. As we ascend the stairs, I pause and turn around. I intend to ask Kai if we can talk once we land, but the words get caught in my throat when I see a figure standing in the distance.
“Why are you just standing there? Let’s go,” Kai says. “Belle!”
My gaze snaps to his, and I know there are tears in my eyes.
“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell,” he says apologetically, but I’m too scared to register that. “It’s just fucking freezing, and you’re blocking the stairs.”
“I thought I saw Brad,” I whisper as more tears fall. I bring my shaking hand up to wipe them away.
“What? Where?” he asks, his head whips around, searching the area. “Belle, where did you see him?” His tone is pleading and that snaps me out of my momentary panic. I point with a shaky finger to the area near the entrance to the airport. It looks like one that would be used by staff and is partially covered in shadows.
