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“Ignore him. You don’t have to do anything,” I whisper.
She nods but keeps my hand in hers. The street the television studio is on is too narrow for the tour bus, so Natehad to park a couple of streets over. Being out in the open, holding her hand like this, is something I want more than anything. It’s also something I can’t risk right now after the article yesterday. I drop her hand and immediately miss it.
“In case someone with a camera is watching,” I explain, even though she didn’t ask. She looks around and nods in understanding.
“Kai, that article…”
I stop her with a shake of my head. “I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m trying to move past it.”
Belle looks at me, trying to read me like she always used to. “Fine.” Her tone is firm, letting me know it is, in fact, not fine. I can’t bring myself to discuss it with her, so I don’t stop her when she quickly walks away from me to get to Willa instead.
sixteen
BELLE
I’ve falleninto a steady routine with the band. We’ve played twelve shows together so far, and I’ve loved every moment of being on stage. I could genuinely picture myself doing this for as long as I can. Cal asks me constantly, and I see the way Kai flinches every time he does. I thought giving it time would help me figure out if he’s flinching because he doesn’t want me to stay or if it’s because he’s worried I won’t.
It would be helpful if he would just talk to me, but he doesn’t. We’re amicable. No more random fights, and he still sleeps next to me if I have a nightmare, but those have become less frequent. I still get flowers and notes from Brad after every show, but they’ve become easy to ignore.
Our last show in Ireland is tonight and then we’re going to Germany, where we have four shows. Our last stop is Glasgow and then home. Time is quickly slipping by and there are so many decisions we have to make. I have to make.
“Can I ask a probably stupid question?”
Cal looks up from the poker game he’s playing against Willa and Kai. Mav is watching a movie with me.
“Go for it.”
“What’s the difference between the band’s manager and your agent, and why isn’t the manager with us?” I ask. I’ve been confused about this pretty much the entire tour, but I tried to figure it out myself. “All the opening bands have had their managers with them.”
“Because Lindsey sucks. That’s what we get for hiring her,” Cal says before tossing chips into the growing pile in the middle of the small table. They crammed the three of them into the kitchen booth on the tour bus. “Nate is doing her job. We hired him ourselves. Lindsey schedules tours and interviews. Mostly because it’s easy to do without having to leave her house.”
“Lindsey used to come on tour for a few stops to fuck Kai,” Willa says. I watch him shoot her a glare, but he doesn’t deny it. I know he’s been with other women, but hearing it makes me want to fight someone. Even if we’re barely friends, I think a part of me will always want more from him.
“Lindsey likes to say that she manages us so well she can do it from home,” Mav says with a roll of his eyes.
“Please tell me we aren’t planning to resign with her. There has to be someone else,” I ask, my tone pleading. If I do this with them, I’d like to have people supporting us, not just collecting money. Or fucking Kai.
Cal squirms out of the booth and runs over to me. “What are you doing?” I ask him nervously. He scoops me up and spins me around.
“You said we!” He yells, still spinning me around.
“What are you talking about? Put me down, idiot!” I yell, slapping him on the back. He listens, but just so he can squeeze me into a crushing hug instead.
“You said we, babe.Wewill sign with a better company as long as someone is interested.” Willa answers, since Cal is apparently too excited. I look over at the table to see her smiling at me. I chance a look at Kai to see him staring at me.
I lift my eyebrow in question, silently asking for his input. One side of his mouth quirks up into a half smile and that’s all I need. I’m staying with this band and my people.
“Hi Mrs. Griffin.”
Cal drops me and we both turn to look at Willa. She’s on the phone, apparently with my mother.
“Yes, they’re both here with me.”
I look at Cal and he shrugs.
“Of course you can.”
Willa holds the phone out. Cal looks at me and quickly puts his finger on his nose.
