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I want to tell him he’s worthy. I want to tell himI’mthe one who doesn’t feel worthy of him. But I know Kai. I know better than anyone that he won’t believe me if I tell him. He needs to make himself believe it. So instead, I kiss him quickly and get ready for the day.
“Kai. . . this is. . . wow.” My words fail as I look around me. We’re surrounded by flowers of all different sizes and colors. The air is heavy with the different floral and fruity scents.
Kai took me to a botanic garden he rented out. He didn’t want to chance being interrupted by fans.
“I wanted you to have good memories of flowers too. Not just ones tarnished by weird and threatening notes.”
“I love this,” I tell him honestly.
Kai takes my hand and leads me down a path surrounded by leafy plants and large red and yellow flowers. There’s a small alcove where a tea table has been set up. Intricate iron chairs sit on either side of the matching table.
“I thought we could have lunch here, but I didn’t think about how overwhelming the smell would be,” Kai says, scrunching up his nose.
“It’s not bothering me, but we can go somewhere else if you want.”
“There’s something else I want to eat, but not today,” he growls in my ear. I can feel my entire face heating. I turn to him, grab his shirt, and pull him down to me. I kiss him with desperation. With a longing I’ve held in for too many years.
“Belle,” Kai groans, returning my kiss with just as muchfervor. His hand is in my hair and the other is on my hip, pulling me into him.
A throat clearing has us jumping a part. I guess we weren’t as alone as I thought we were.
“Your tea is ready, Mr. Irons.”
I turn to see an older man smiling at us as he gestures towards the table. I didn’t even hear anyone setting it up. It now holds a white and blue teapot with matching cups and saucers. In the middle is a three-tier tray of small sandwiches and small cakes.
“Thank you, Felix,” Kai says. He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me over to the table.
“This looks like something out of a movie!” I exclaim. Kai just laughs and takes his seat.
I pour tea for both of us before picking out a sandwich and taking a bite.
“So, tell me what I’ve missed with you.” Kai’s tone is casual, but I know the question is hard for him. He’s beating himself up for pushing me away. But he also knows those missed years include an abusive boyfriend. He wants to hear about it, but he knows it’s going to hurt.
“I originally majored in education. Swapped to forensic science. Ended up with a business degree.”
Kai listens to my not so exciting retelling of my college years. I spent most of it missing my friends and not really trying to make new ones. So there wasn’t a lot to tell.
“How did you meet Brad?” he asks, his voice and body tense. I don’t really want to talk about this on a first date, but I know it needs to be said.
“We met senior year. He was in one of my classes. Brad was nice, handsome, said all the right things. I moved inwith him after graduation. He got me a job at his mom’s finance company. I worked there for six months, during which he slowly talked me into staying home.” I take a deep breath, keeping my eyes on my plate so I don’t have to see the anger I know is simmering in Kai’s.
“Once I quit, it was like I locked myself in a cage. The fighting started. Yelling at first. Then he hit me. Apologized, and I believed it. Then he kept hitting me, and I was too scared and too alone to stop him.”
“Why didn’t you tell Cal?” Kai asks, his voice barely containing his rage.
“I was embarrassed. I know now that I shouldn’t have been, and that Cal would’ve helped get me out of the situation immediately. But when I was in it. . . there was nothing and no one else. I felt alone.” I’ve been working through all this with a therapist, so it’s a lot easier for me to talk about now than it had been a few weeks ago.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he says, getting up from his seat and kneeling next to me. “I should’ve been there for you. You never should’ve been with him in the first place.”
“Stop. We can’t live like that or move forward in our relationship thinking that way. We’re together now, and we have our own memories to make. Hopefully, good ones.” I run my fingers along the stubble on his jaw.
“Sorry. That was a terrible first date topic,” Kai says.
“But you needed to know, so you could stop guessing?” I supply for him.
He smiles sadly. “Yeah.”
Kai makes his way back to his seat. We eat the delicious food and chat about much lighter topics.
