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“Someone on the ferry told him a paramedic told them.”
“Ok, so it could have been completely made up. Rumors, rumors, everywhere you look. No facts. No stories in the news.”
Saber sighed.
“You’re tough to impress.”
Lozen smirked and turned the page of her book.
“I didn’t get a 4.1 GPA by being a dumbass who believes whatever anyone tells me. I do my research.”
“I respect that,” Saber said, smiling with admiration at Lozen.
“Besides,” Lozen said, “they would probably disinvite you if you told them you were bringing me.”
“Why?”
“Hmm, let’s see, because I’m a huge bitch to everyone I don’t like? Because I’m a suspicious person who doesn’t seem like the type to keep secrets?”
“Yeah, but maybe thereisno secret.”
“Saber, I’m not scared of a lot of things, but I am scared of going out too late on Bainbridge Island. And I can’t let anything bad happen to me. People need me.”
“Who needs you?”
“My mom,” Lozen said, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, as if to stop herself from crying. “She’s really struggled to keep it together for us. I can’t do what my cousin did. It would destroy her.”
“You haven’t talked a lot about your family.”
“Maybe because it’s embarrassing?” Lozen looked at her pointedly. “I’m poor, Saber. My dad left when I was really little and as far as we know he’s back in Mexico. My mom is a domestic worker who cleans hotel rooms at the casino during the day and takes care of an old rich lady. Nobody is going to give me a BMW or pay for me to go to college.”
“Lozen.” Saber laughed a little out of anxiety. “You never, ever have to feel embarrassed about any part of your life around me.”
“Oh yeah?” Lozen indicated Saber’s house. “Easy for you to say.”
Saber shook her head, smiling bitterly.
“This isn’t how I grew up, Lozen, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. I lived with my grandma in a two-bedroom house. It wasnothinglike this.”
“I know. But now you livehere.”
“Ok,” Saber said, tossing her pen down on the table. “So hold it against me, even though it all feels fake, like it’s not even real and I don’t even want it.”
“Sorry,” Lozen said, taking a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Sorry, Saber, I just… I don’t know.”
“I won’t ask about going to the parties anymore.”
“Don’t go without me either,” Lozen said. “I mean it.”
“I won’t.”
7
That week, it rained eco hard that the daily drive to school was made to the insistent rhythm of windshield wipers.
As Lozen had promised, the skies were dark all day, and the sun set earlier and earlier. She and her dad had yet to go clothes shopping.
“You need a better jacket.”
