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The things she’d said at Ansel’s, the things she could remember, were excruciating to think about, and came back to her right as she was falling asleep, or when there was a pause in the conversation.
I never wanted to be touched this bad before.
Had she really said that to her dad’s boss? It gave her a full-body cringe every time she thought about it. She still wished she could remember everything he’d said. It all felt meaningful, but it was all a blur.
Still, the overwhelming feeling she had was curiosity. The bodies without blood, the parties, the wealthy people, the way she’d felt when she talked to Derek, Ansel and her feelings toward him, all of it felt like parts of a whole she couldn’t see and brought her back to the main question.
What was going on at that mansion?
She had to find out, but she couldn’t tell Lozen. She couldn’t tell anyone. She needed to know what was going on, and the truth, the stark, humiliating truth, was that she was hoping Ansel had something to do with it.
12
Saber had all kinds of ideas for what she wanted to be for Halloween, but then she ran out of time and ended up being a black cat, like she was most years. Black sweater, one that her dad bought her in the softest cashmere, black jeans, kitty-cat ears, a pink heart painted on her nose, and eyeliner whiskers.
Was she going to win points for originality?
No, she was not, but she looked cute.
It had been easy to get re-invited to the Halloween party. Rex had asked her, and she’d agreed. He’d looked genuinely surprised, and she’d shrugged.
“Yeah, maybe I was being a little dramatic last time. Maybe I hang out with Lozen too much.”
He’d laughed and winked
She was determined not to drink anything that anyone gave her. The party started at Elise’s house, and then, at the pre-determined hour, just like the time before, she was invited to the party at Derek’s mansion. Now that it had happened once before everything seemed pre-planned, practiced, even rehearsed.
This time, though, Saber was wide awake, sober, and ready to understand what was actually happening. Laurel drove them this time, and everything was familiar and new, observed as it was through a sense of sobriety, curiosity, and a fair bit of fear.
They drove up, past the Teslas, Range-Rovers, and BMWs, and parked in the sprawling driveway that led up to the huge veranda. Once they were inside there were, once again, beautiful rich-looking people gathered on sofas and around the bar, beautiful people who looked at the teenagers hungrily as they milled into the room. Saber looked at them all and tried to remember faces, and of course she looked for Ansel, who wasn’t there.
“You again,” Derek said when he came down the stairs. “Let’s talk.”
He put an arm around her and handed her a full glass of champagne, which she toasted to him with a cool smile.
“You’re trying to get me into trouble, aren’t you?” Derek said, smiling, his voice smooth, his eyes icy cold.
“Trouble? Whatever would get you in trouble?” She said it innocently and smiled back at him. He laughed, but without any of the warmth he’d had last time.
“I’m not worried, and trust me, if you’re thinking of tattling, I wouldn’t waste your time.”
“You have no idea what I’m thinking,” she said, and he laughed again. “Even if I did go to the police, what would I say? What do you think I know?”
“You’re so confident, it’s charming. But no, I’m not talking about the police. I’m referring to a mutual friend of ours.”
“Who might that be?”
“You know exactly who,” he said, his voice lowering. “Our friend who has, for some reason, decided it is within his rights to tell me who I may or may not socialize with.”
“I literally don’t know who you’re talking about.”
The entire conversation was extremely confusing.
Derek’s silver eyes sparkled, as though unsure of whether or not to believe her.
“I don’t like being teased, and I don’t like being told what to do. Do you?”
“No,” Saber said truthfully. “I don’t.”
