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“Ugh.” I turned my back to her, hunching my shoulders. “You really think she is?”
I’d meant it as a snarky comment, but it came out in a soft voice like I just didn’t… didn’t know if I dared to hope that. Emberlynn walked past me, putting the lizard back on the shelf,and she sighed. “I know for a fact she is,” she said. “She wouldn’t have come back here like this for just anybody.”
I looked down, fussing with the dress—that same red minidress I’d worn for our treehouse date. Because it was obviousnowthat they were dates, just… obvious too late. “She didn’t say…” My voice felt tight, strangled in my throat, hard to push out words. I wanted to scream in frustration. I thought I’d movedpastthis—thought I’d learned how to say the things on my mind, how to be the things I wanted. “She didn’t say so…” was all I managed, and Emberlynn put a hand on my arm.
“She’s a delicate woman. More than she looks.”
“I know.” I shifted. “Just… when we were talking earlier, I said… said how…”
I trailed off, and an awkward silence settled over us. Eventually, Emberlynn picked the lizard back up off the shelf.
“Spit it out,” she said. “Or the lizard gets it.”
“You can’t do that.” I reached for the lizard, but she held it just out of reach. “Oh my god, give me back Jerome.”
“Jerome is a hostage now. Tell me what you’re saying.”
“You monster,” I huffed, folding my arms, looking away. “Okay, well, if youwantto know, I told her that I’d meant it all those times I said I loved her. And what did she say? Absolutely nothing. What am I supposed to take away from that? So—so really, I don’t know why I’m bothering,” I said, my voice getting thick and hot now, words coming too fast to sound natural no matter how I tried. “Now put Jerome back on the shelf where he goes.”
“Hm.” She set Jerome back on the shelf where he went, and she looked out the window, the sill crowded with my junk. “I think what to take away from that is that she’s scared of being in love with you.”
“I’m gonna try that. Just ask people if they’re in love with me, and if they say no, it’s because they’re scared of how much they’re in love with me.”
She shoved me playfully. “Take this seriously, dammit. Isn’t it obvious? It’s because if she tells you she loves you, then she stays. And for some reason, she’s convinced she can’t stay.”
“I… I don’t know.”
“She didn’t come back for anything in Bayview. She was prepared to cut everything off and become a different person. But she came back for you. That means something.” She shrugged. “Means that she’s in conflict between her feelings for you and her need to get away. So looking at it that way, whywouldn’tshe hide her real feelings?”
I shifted from one foot to the other, an awkward sensation churning in my gut. I couldn’t find words—everything slippery and hard to get my head around—when a knock came from the door, and I whipped my head to look.
“Oh my god, this is my bedroom. Who has the nerve to just walk into my house?”
“Literally, you of all people—” Emberlynn started, but I ignored her. Worse still, it was Aria’s voice from outside the door.
“I wonder,” Aria said. “Maybe you’ll forgive me if you know I brought cake.”
“Oh.” I dropped my arms, turning back to the door. “Aria, my favorite sister in the world, I am so sorry for my outburst. Please, do help yourself to, uh… putting the cake in the kitchen and leaving.”
She came into the bedroom, the asshole. “Hey,” she said with a soft smile. “Wanted to check in on you. You seem like you’re doing better.”
“I thought you were immobilized by your period right now and craving as much cheese as you could fit in your body.”
Emberlynn put her hands on her hips. “You were eavesdropping on Harper’s and my—”
Aria put a hand up. “I’m on a lot of painkillers right now. We don’t all collapse wailing to the heavens when we’re on our periods.”
Emberlynn looked away. “If you’re going to call out Paisley, you might as well not call me out at the same time… I’m your girlfriend.”
Aria smiled sweetly at her. “It’s not a problem when you’re doing it, sweetheart. It’s just weird when it’s Paisley slumped over our couch complaining she wants chocolate.”
“I don’t know why I talk to either of you,” I said, looking away. “Ugh, leave me be. I’m trying to get dressed for a dinner date. Actually—Ar, you might as well make yourself useful for something. Is this dress good?”
Aria gave me a once-over. “It’s a cute look. Pair it with a dark jacket or a coat, something large and a little shapeless, to contrast it. Especially if you get some wool or another contrasting texture… and those red heels from Bright Star. Small clutch.”
I folded my arms. “It’s the shoulder bag or bust.”
She put her hands up. “Okay, the shoulder bag then. Whatever makes you happy. Just don’t do the cross-body with that outfit.” She paused, giving me a careful look, a guarded smile on her lips. “I’m sure Harper will love it,” she said, and I swallowed, looking away.
