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The smell of honeysuckle greets me as I enter the paved expanse of the garden. I can hear the water gently lapping around me, the birdsong is sweet to my ears. I don’t allow that to lull me into a false sense of serenity though. No. If anything the very tranquility of this place holds a sinister reminder of his power.
No one knows I’m here. My family thinks I’ve gone back to New York. My parents are on assignment in of all places Osaka, Japan. I find it interesting that they are halfway across the world in the one place the Takedas hold the most power while I am under the control of Hisashi again. I know without research or wonder that he did it. He pulled whatever lever he needed and called in debts he was owed to have my father reassigned to Japan after nearly twenty years.
I’m sure he’s set up all types of proxies to intercede if people start looking for me. I’m completely at his mercy until he tires or kills me. I’m under no illusions of what his intentions are. I owe him a blood debt for my betrayal to him. I know I do. I made promises. I swore to never abandon him. He won’t care I was left with no choice. He won’t care if I regret it all to this day. His only mission is to punish and seek revenge. I know this. Then why am I still hoping to reach him in some way?
“Mrs. Takeda?” I start at the sound of Aiko’s voice. Making my way over to the small table laden with my breakfast I smile my thanks.
“May I pour for you, ma’am?” she asks, already taking the carafe. Having no choice but to smile and nod, I settle into the cozy chair waiting as she pours the steaming chocolate liquid of the mocha latte into a delicate porcelain coffee cup.
Taking in the elegant lines of the dish, it doesn’t take me long to realize it’s the exact pattern I chose when we got married. At the time it seemed silly. We were so young. I was sure we’d break them all in a matter of months. No, it was in the days that followed when Hisashi smashed them one after another looking at me with an almost placid expression.
I’d given up pleading with him after the fifth one.
“Is my sweet little wife upset?” he asked almost detached as he carelessly smacked the dish to pieces between us in the kitchen. I don’t remember anything other than I’d told him to be careful when he unceremoniously dumped a plate into the water as I washed the dishes.
“No,” I whispered, keeping my voice calm. Small. Helplessly I watched as he destroyed every dish of the hundred- and twenty-piece set.
“Is there anything else you need?” she asks, dragging me back to my present nightmare, pretty though it may be.
“No thank you.” Hearing the change in my voice I can’t even bring myself to fake smile. My hands tremble as I reach for the cup. Squeezing my hands closed tightly I place them back in my lap.
I stare at the filled cup for long moments my fingers clasped in my hands. The beauty of the day is lost. I hated I ever came out here. Hated I asked, no begged. Now, I can’t even eat.
My breath shudders in and out like I’ve run up a hill ten times. Is this some type of trick? Is he going to constantly taunt me with reminders of our time together? The things that terrified me and made me fear for both our safety?
“Ma’am?” I startle, an eep escaping as I look at Aiko.
“Y-yes?” I look at her, my eyes falling to the cell phone she’s holding out to me.
My hands are still trembling when I take it from her.
Hisashi’s hard face is on the screen.
“Why aren’t you eating?” he snaps.
“I was trying—” I start.
“No, the fuck you weren’t. You sat there for damn near thirty minutes looking at a veritable feast and not touching it. Are you trying to antagonize me, Taylor?” His voice licks over me with malice and anticipation.
“No.” Making my voice strong I answer eyeing the nearly congealed spinach and feta omelet. One of my favorite breakfasts.
He stares at me hard as I eye the food then looks off. I wonder if he’s looking at me from another angle. I wouldn’t doubt it.
“Somehow I don’t believe you.” He ends the call.
Seconds later Aiko returns. I didn’t even think to call anyone so caught up in his anger and the knots forming in my tummy.
After pocketing the phone, she starts gathering the dishes. “Mr. Takeda says you can try again later.” She answers my questioning look with a sheepish expression.
I stand to follow her back into the confines of my room, but she shakes her head. “You can stay out here as long as you like.”
Breathing with newfound relief I don’t take my seat again but take in the garden from where I stand. Following the sound of the water I soon come upon a little bridge. Koi frolic below, slipping and sliding around the pond. I know they are considered good luck, but they are hideous fish. We fed some the day we went on our little wedding day excursion. We flung the pebble sized food into the water watching how they ate as if in competition. Such a day of soft perfect love.
Thinking of the soft life we shared, my heart squeezes, so many dreams deferred.
Feeling stupid for hoping for more, I linger among the flowers and foliage for long moments getting lost in the beauty of the blossoms. The southern sun starts making its presence known. Sweat makes my kimono cling to me. Needing a shower and unable to resist any longer I head inside.
The room is a blank canvas. Nothing. A gilded prison. Something tells me to rush through my shower because the door will be closed and my only source of freedom will be gone.
