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“You said the same thing last year.” He shook his head, sighing with disappointment, but I was used to it. “You can at least try.”
“If I fail, I’ll need to wait three years before I can retake it. I’m gonna wait until I know I can pass.”
“You’ll never know if you can pass until you give it a go.” He pushed his spectacles back up his nose. His blue eyes regarded me through the misty glass. His were several shades darker than my baby blues. “Or is it your goal to remain an apprentice?”
“You know I want to be a keeper.” Being one would give me access to the magic and authority I needed to go to my sister in Salvius. I needed to pass more than he knew. “I’ll take it next year… Promise.”
“You’re ready, Elle. You don’t need to wait another year. There’s only one spot left for a keeper.”
I gave him a small smile. “I’m the only apprentice you have. Who else is going to take it? Benji?” I asked, referring to the black cat who roamed our mansion.
“We could use your help.”
Guilt tugged my conscience. “I know.” I cast my eyes to the ground. With only Maddox and Dora as keepers and Edmund as grandkeeper, our tiny coven was stretched thin. They were often sent to different locations, to transport or collect a dark object or to translate Lor, as we were the only coven who studied the forgotten language because it could still be found in old text or on runes. “Next year for sure I will take it.”
“You’re twenty, Elle.” His sympathetic tone made me wince. “You became an apprentice five years ago. You’ve been an apprentice for the longest of any in Fairwik.”
I swallowed thickly. “Thanks for the reminder.”
“I really think you should put your name forward at the call. You won’t fail.”
I couldn’t tell him the truth, that I’d failed at some of the more complicated spells he’d given me to practice. I’d excelled when I was first brought to Istinia at eleven, but I couldn’t master the advanced magic needed to be a keeper. I didn’t want to prove them right, all those who looked down on human-born witches for our magic being weak. But the advanced spells weren’t the only thing holding me back.
The stack of dusty spell books dating back a century loomed over me in the library.
To become a keeper, I had to get a perfect score. Anything less was a fail, and I couldn’t afford to wait three years to take it again. “Please, stop.” My tone came out harsher than I expected. “Sorry, but I’m not going to do it this year. As I said, next year I will. I promise.”
He shook his head, then turned away. “If your mind is made up, then there’s nothing I can say.”
“So…” I looked at the page, needing a topic change. “What now?”
I breathed in the stale, musty air and tapped my fingers against the side of my legs. I wanted to help, but the markings on the pages were ones I’d never encountered. I knew I’d only been brought along to learn, not to aid, but Edmund would pretend otherwise. He wanted me to feel like I was needed, but as he was the grandkeeper, I knew that wasn’t true. He didn’t need me to go down there with him or hold the book.
“For now, nothing. We are the only ones who can read it, and as you know, it cannot be copied.”
“It’s as if they have a mind of their own.”
He looked at the open pages wearily. “Yes, they do.”
“What happens again? When you try to copy the spells?”
“You forget. As soon as we close the book, the instructions inside will leave my mind. It’s a part of the curse placed on this thing a century ago.” He blew out a long exhale as his gaze trailed over the symbols inked onto the parchment.
“I guess it’s clever, like it’s preserving itself.” I shoved my hands into my pockets, then rocked back onto my heels. “A failsafe, preventing anyone from copying the spells we need and just getting rid of the book.”
“Yes.” He tapped his fingers against the spine when he closed it. “It’s going to take a few days to complete the tracing spell. Maddox will bring a caster in and help them translate so they can cast it while the book remains open.”
“Oh.” It made sense. Maddox, who also happened to be one of my best friends, was almost as skilled as Edmund. “Then why did we need to come down here now?” I asked, keeping my tone kind. I hated when Edmund and I would have disagreements. He was one of the few people in my life who hadn’t left but believed in me, so I made a conscious effort to structure my tone to come across light and breezy with him.
“To ensure I had the correct one, and it was where I thought it was.”
He always did have to double-check everything, even though he was almost always right. I watched him place the book back between two others. Edmund glanced at his watch. “It’s almost time. Frederick will be arriving back from Salvius shortly.”
I thought back to when Frederick, the fetcher who was tasked with traveling between Salvius and Istinia when necessary—had picked me up and taken me to Istinia.
My eyes were beginning to burn. I rubbed them, then rolled my shoulders back. “Let’s go. My bed calls to me, and you know how I feel about sleep.”
He let out a small chuckle. “We all know how you feel about your bed, Elle. You spend half your mornings complaining about leaving it.”
