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Anger built inside me, threatening to explode. The pressure increased, teasing and taunting, ready to tear apart the seams of my fragile existence. I’d never felt so vulnerable. Foolish. Hurt. Unlovable. Rejected. The combination was so sharp and raw that I couldn’t contain it.
I lashed out, a guttural cry escaping my lips, sweeping my arm across the table of food that had long since gone cold. Plates clanked. Glass shattered. Water spilled over the mahogany edge of the table.
I didn’t care.
He felt nothing for me.
My mouth felt dry. My face was hot. A dull and numbing ache filled my head, fogging everything except the pain. I stared at the clock again.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Tock.
The hands aligned, pointing up, striking midnight. I couldn’t stop myself. I grabbed my phone and dialed Adora’s number. It rang twice before she answered. I hit the speaker button, then tossed it on the bed.
“What’s wrong?” Her words were muffled when she answered. She was tired, but awake, probably having fallen asleep reading a book.
“I’m leaving.”
My body was on autopilot, going through the motions. Opening drawers, pulling out clothes. I grabbed the backpack I’d come with and started stuffing things into it. Nova whined again. “Did something happen with Elias?” Adora asked, her voice dropping an octave.
Yes. “No.”
“Liar,” she said. “If you’re going to run away, at least tell me what went down.”
“Is your line secure?”
I heard silence, then a muffled sound “They aren’t monitoring right now. Probably too late.”
“How do you know?”
“I traded my jade necklace to a technopath witch to make me a scrambler, and it tells me if I’m being listened to.” I squeezed my eyes shut.
“He’s not who I thought he was,” I said, finally answering her question. “I’ll fill you in, but not right now. I’m packing my bag and then taking a car. I’m going to drive to Portland.”
“You’re stealing a car?” I could hear the question in her voice.
“Borrowing.”
Adora whistled under her breath. “You’re serious right now?”
“Dead serious.”
“You can’t stay in No Man’s Land. You’ll be a walking target,” she argued. More shuffling in the background caught my attention as she spoke.
“I’m going to travel the coast. Try to make my way to Earth and Emerald. If they won’t take me, hatred for Mathis and Elias declaring me his mate will at least get Gold and Garnet’s attention. I’m sure they’d take me—even if it’s so no one else can.” Everyone wanted a pawn in their play for power. Might as well use it to my advantage.
“I have a better plan.” I could hear her moving about. The sound of a zipper closing. Feet in shoes. Keys jingling. “Don’t drive too fast. I’ll meet you there?—”
“You can’t,” I said, glancing at the phone as I shoved my hairbrush in. Clothes? Check. Blood vials? Check. Toothbrush? I ducked into the bathroom. Memories of the heat flashed through me. The bathtub. Crawling toward the bedroom door. Aching for him. Elias kneeling beside me, his hand between my legs . . .
She scoffed on the other line. “One, I can. Two, Gold and Garnet are a bunch of assassins and mercenaries. You wouldn’t last a week on your own. Three, I should have done this last time.” She sighed into the receiver. I could hear her breathing. The faint hum of her heart. She must have it pressed between her shoulder and cheek.
“It’s not safe,” I grunted, zipping my pack shut. “It wasn’t then, and it’s not now. Mathis sucks, but he won’t kill you if you don’t give him reason to?—”
“Fuck Mathis,” Adora spat. “And while we’re at it, fuck the excuses. I’m not leaving you to navigate this alone. You’re my sister—my person—and if Blood and Beryl isn’t working out, we’ll find somewhere that does. Together.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, angling my neck back. “What’s your plan?”
