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I knew. I’d known since the moment I’d bit her to save her life.
The infamous bond had snapped into place, as if every string that had grounded me had been simultaneously cut. All but her. Right at the moment when her life had hung in the balance.
The irony was not lost on me.
“It wasn’t pretend,” I said, sitting back. I closed my hands into fists to keep from reaching for her, even though everything in me demanded I do so. “Not for me.”
“That’s not what you said.”
“I was angry.” I sighed. “After your heat, all I could think about was you. Places I wanted to take you. Things I wanted to do with you . . . to you.” A flush crept up Danni’s cheeks, lighter in hue than they had been before. She pressed her legs together, no doubt feeling the effects of the bond bearing down on her as well. The magic was loud, demanding we consummate it. “But you said it was pretend, and to say I took it poorly is an understatement.”
“Me? You said you wanted a business arrangement.” Her voice had gone quiet, devoid of emotion. That hummingbird heart of hers gave nothing away.
“I know.”
“You didn’t want ‘complicated.’”
“I know.”
“You said it meant nothing. That we were nothing?—”
“I know.” Gods, this was harder than I’d thought it would be. “I got angry. I said things I shouldn’t have. Things I didn’t mean and?—”
“Even a lie has a grain of truth in it, Elias,” she said softly. Her face was downcast, her eyes focusing on her hands.
“Not always.” This growing, writhing thing beneath my skin tried to break free. It was the same beast that had caused the rage that had ignited a war.
“Not always? Or not when it suits your argument?” she asked, waiting in silence for me to respond. She picked at her nails, then snapped her head up. “Where’s Adora? Please tell me she’s here. Mathis shot her . . .”
“She went with the healers. She’s okay.”
“I’d like to see her.”
“You will,” I said.
“Now,” she insisted. “I want to talk to her. We won’t be staying here. I’m not staying here. Sorry for all of this—” She motioned to herself and Nova.
“Stop,” I finally snapped, unable to hold it back. “One, you’re not going anywhere.” Her eyes lit up with indignation that made my blood quicken. “Two, do not apologize to me. Not for this. You ran away, and I understand why.”
“Then you understand why I can’t be here,” she shot back.
“I don’t, actually. I’m trying to make this right. I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry.”
“I know you are,” she argued. “But I can’t help and think about what happened before the mate bond told you that you wanted to be with me. Before all this happened, I had a different vision of what we were. Like some insipid girl, I was going to pour my heart out to you, tell you that Markus rejected me, and I was free of those chains. I thought for a minute, just for a minute, that you didn’t mean what you’d said. Maybe emotions got the better of us both. Maybe there was a miscommunication . . . but I was wrong—about a lot of things, it would seem.” She crossed her arms, turning away from me.
“No, you weren’t wrong. I was.” I ran my hands through my hair, tugging while my emotions raged inside my head. This was not how I’d imagined our conversation would go.
“We both were,” she whispered. “You for thinking this would work, and me for thinking it was anything more than what we’d discussed.” Shaking her head, she added, “I won’t do this to myself. I thought I could go along with it, and I can’t. I just can’t. I want more than the twisted royal standards you want to live by.”
I scrunched my brows. “Royal standards? What are you even talking about?”
“Don’t, Elias. Just don’t. Katie let some things slip—it’s not her fault—but it all makes sense after I thought about it.” Katie? What did she have to do with this? “I just deserve a chance at a better life. Maybe in Earth and Emerald, I can find it.”
Her words slammed into me. “If you think I’m going to let my mate walk out on me?—”
She whipped her head around, glaring at me, eyes glittering with the beginning of unshed tears. “You never wanted a mate, Elias. You said so from the very beginning. ‘A true mate would be a distraction at best.’ Those were your words. I replayed everything we’ve said and done together over and over in my head. I just felt something . . . I thought it was love. I guess I got caught up in our lies.” She dropped her arms, flinging the covers off. “I thought maybe you loved me too. It was my fault for thinking otherwise.”
Panic shot through me at the thought of her trying to leave. The bond flared, burning my senses, pushing against my skin. I’d never thought those conversations with her would come back to haunt me. That she could use them against me to prove her point.
