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“Then stop poking the bear.”
He acquiesced. “As you wish.”
"God, you're such a pushover. The truth is staring you right in the face," she whispered, stepping into the hotel cafe.
Instead of engaging in the conversation, Will ignored it. He didn't want to deal with how close to home she came with her assessment. Plus, he didn't even understand it himself. He wasn't some hardcore pain slut or a slave either. He was somewhere in between and finding the person who could accommodate him, fell short. Taking a seat at one of the small tables, Will waited as the others joined them. They were supposed to be having fun and come hell or high water, he'd enjoy himself.
After breakfast, they headed over to the spa and started their morning of pampering. Will enjoyed the facial and the seaweed wrap, however, when it came to the waxing, he was out. He went back to the front desk to ask if he could check-in and once he had his key card for his room, he headed for the elevator. On the ride up to their floor, he thought about what Angie and Kristen said. They were correct a few times, but allowing himself to trust blindly, again, he didn't think he could. Tristan did more damage to him mentally than he wanted to acknowledge, not to mention the sting of repeated rejection.
No, he was happy to be single. It gave him a sense of peacefulness and freedom. He wasn’t beholden to someone. Didn’t have to make plans when all he wanted to do was stay home. The doors on the elevator opened and he stepped out, heading for his room. Once he was inside, he changed into his shorts and a tank top. He hated the idea of putting sunblock on his soft skin after the seaweed wrap, however, he also didn’t want to look like a tomato by the time everyone wanted to go out.
Will slathered on the suntan lotion then left for the pool. He figured he’d have a little time to himself to relax before the girls joined him. It also gave him a minute to gather his tattered thoughts and compose himself. Kristen and Angie had a way of poking and prying where he was concerned and sometimes, unbeknownst to them, they opened up wounds he didn’t want to deal with or think about.
Nor did they know how much it hurt.
Thankfully, when he pushed open the door leading to the pool, the clouds had parted, and the warm humid air of the day hit him in the chest. Will slid his shades into place, protecting his eyes from the bright rays of the sun. For a Friday afternoon, the area was a bit empty—not that he minded in the least. He grabbed one of the lounge chairs near the foot of the pool then laid back, closing his eyes.
“He looks a little smug laying there,” Kristen said.
“Relaxed more like it,” Angie replied.
Will opened his eyes, the clouds had returned, and four women peered down at him, shading him from the dull light. He hadn’t even realized he fell asleep. “Ladies.” He cleared his throat. “Did you have fun being waxed?”
“Loaded question.” Kristen laughed. “We’re hungry.”
Will glanced at his watch and blanched. “So much for cabana boys at the pool.” He sat forward.
“I think they’re all inside,” Angie muttered, hitching her thumb over her shoulder. “Appears the weather isn’t going to cooperate either.”
There was that too. “If you give me a moment, I’ll get changed and we can find somewhere to have dinner before our research party.” He avoided Roxanne’s knowing gaze.
She'd tried several times to coax him back to the club, to join her and Kayla, and maybe find the spark he'd been missing. Will declined. As it was, at the time, Kayla and Roxanne were preparing for the babies he'd happily agreed to help create. Neither of them needed the added stress of his issues. They had more important things to worry about—like his adorable niece and nephew.
Roxanne followed behind him, stopping him at the elevator. “I should apologize.”
“Don’t need it.” He glanced at her. “No harm no foul, right?”
Roxanne frowned. “Don’t you want to be happy, Will?”
He tilted his head. “What makes you think I’m not?”
She snorted, crossing her arms.
Will sagged. “Fine. Maybe I do. But, I’m not submissive.” The lie rolled off his tongue. It’d taken practice to be able to say those words without giving himself away.
“Or maybe you haven’t met the right Dom yet.” She touched his arm. “I know you think you’re not cut out for this. But, I think if you try, you might find your place.”
“No pressure,” he murmured.
"Never," she said in a firm tone. "However, I'm going to call you on your bullshit. I see the longing in your eyes when we're all together. I also hear the jealousy in your voice when you make snippy comments. Oh sure, you sugar coat them in your saccharine-sweet tone, but they're there.
Busted.
“I don’t know what I want.”I thought I had it with Tristan. Obviously not.
“You’re allowed to not know. Whoever told you otherwise should fuck off.” She shrugged.
The doors to the elevator opened and he stepped inside. “Thanks.” He glanced at Roxanne. “I appreciate the pep talk.”
