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“So tell it already.”
I take another deep breath.
I’ve never told a living soul what I’m about to tell Harlem. Now my secret,oursecret, will be out in the open.
“I… we… She’s my…”
He frowns.
“Sister,” I manage.
His eyes go wide. “What the fuck?”
“I mean…Stepsister,”I add quickly. “We’re not blood related.”
“Thank fuck, my heart rate just went over a hundred.” He’s still staring at me, eyes wide.
I take a long breath. “So you can see why…”
“So you grew up together?”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that. She was fifteen, I’d just turned sixteen… our parents met. Her mom and my dad, and they got married. I left for college less than two years later.”
He blinks a couple of times and says, “Out of all the things I thought you were goin’ to say, that wasn’t it.”
I shake my head.“So you can see now, how weird this all is,” I go on. “Havin’…thoughtsand shit about her.”
“Did she reciprocate?”
I close my eyes momentarily. “Not until we were both over eighteen. We were friends for the first few years. I didn’t think about her like that at first.”
“Shit, man.”
I scowl at the memory. “We both denied it, the attraction, but then shit happened.”
“And then?”
“And then we noticed each other. I was about to be drafted by the NFL. My dad was on my case every second. Luna and I kept out of each other's way. Then we saw each other again at a frat party…”
“Then what?”
“Nothin’. I mean,it’s a long story. But I was lookin’ out for her and shit but…things felt…different.She’d grown up, so had I. And I didn’t like it when other dudes talked to her, stuff like that.”
“She felt the same?”
“Obviously. But nothin’ happened straight away. Just lookin’ and shit. One night, before I left for college, she got scared because of a thunderstorm. Our parents were at one end of the house and us the other.” I shake my head at the memory. “I heard her crying and when I went to investigate, she also said she hated the dark. It scared her. I felt bad so I let her sleep in my bed.” I run a hand through my hair. “That’s when I first started to really notice her differently. And I hated myself for it.”
“Oh.”
“We fuckin’ cuddled,” I admit in disgust.
Harlem chuckles. “Yeah, I can’t exactly imagine that.”
I shrug. “I was a kid. Didn’t know shit back then. I’d fucked a couple of girls, but it felt different with her.” Fuck. I can’t believe I’m even admitting this.
Then, over the years, I discovered even more about myself through her eyes.
It’s like I’d only discovered what jealousy was when I saw her talking to any other guy, no matter where she was.
