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Even now I can’t stand it. It’s worse than ever.
I swear to fuckin’ God, if I see her with a date at Casey’s party, which is apparently being held at the Grill, the restaurant we own downtown, I’ll lose my mind. I’ll have to make myself available now in case I have to smack some heads together. Namely, her date’s head into the wall.
“I get it. Your parents would be mad.”
“My dad, yes. Lisa, Luna’s mom, is more understanding. Her and Lu are close. And she loves me, always has, so there’s that.”
Seeing Lisa’s disappointment is what keeps me on the straight and narrow. She’s been a real mom to me over the years, completely accepting me the way my own mother couldn’t.
Mom skipped out on both of us. Only wanting to get back in my life when I made it in the NFL. The idea sickened me as much then as it does now.
And my dad. That’s a whole bucket of worms I don’t wish to bring up.
I know I let him down when I retired early. He thought I could just be magically fixed.
All I’d ever wanted in life was his approval, and I’d never felt good enough in his eyes.
Even when I was drafted, he told me I made the wrong team choice.
Of course, I looked up to him. He played ball for the Cowboys. He’s loved and respected by the entire nation, and I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Even winning a Super Bowl didn’t matter, not in the end. It’s all about winning. And in my dad’s eyes, my career was cut short and he blamed me.
In hindsight, I know I’d never live up to him, period. I’d never really have his seal of approval, and over the years, I’ve come to terms with it.
But me and Luna?
Oh, he’d never be able to hide from the shame of it all. The great Terrance “Bear” Madden and his wayward children. He’d never forgive us.
“Maybe it’s time you stopped worryin’ about what everyone else thinks, T. Ever think of that?”
I look up at him. “It’s weird, though. Admit it.”
“It’s…different.But you’re not blood related, and you didn’t exactly grow up together.”
I didn’t realize I even cared what he thought until this minute. But I’m surprised. Harlem is a moral man. He’s a straight shooter. He’d tell me if I was a fuckin’ weirdo.
Somehow, it feels better to hear him say that I’m not.
“Wait,” he goes on, staring at me. “Did you pop her cherry?”
I grunt as I lift the weights. “Mind your own fuckin’ business,” I growl.
“Jesus, T. No wonder she wants to claw your eyes out every time you see her.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I say, trying hard to forget that night.
“Uh huh.”
“Forget I said anything,” I mutter, realizing I’ve divulged enough. “Not gonna happen anyway. We’re through.”
He just shrugs and goes back to working out. “Famous last words.”
Nope.
This time, Harlem has it all wrong.
There is nothing between us. It was young lust and nothing more.
I won’t be indulging Luna and her escapades anymore. From now on, she can go it alone.
