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“Taking me,” I whisper, my face beet red. “Doing things to me.”
His lips part, and for the first time ever, Thomas is lost for words.
“You’re a virgin?”
I nod. “Obviously.”
“Fuck.”
I watch him carefully, then he shakes his head. “I don’t deserve that. But don’t give it up until you’re ready, Luna. It should be… It should be special. Not just some grope and a feel in the back of a car, or with some drunk guy who won’t remember your name. You’re too good for that.”
How I wish I could tell him I want it to be him.
All of it.
I only want him.
But that is a far-off dream.
The song ends, and I slide out of his arms.
We look at one another, but don’t linger.
The magic and the moment are gone when reality hits again.
He’s my stepbrother.
We can’t go any further.
I’ve tossed and turned all night since we got back.
Thomas didn’t stay out. He came home later than me and our parents, but at least he came back.
I can’t stop remembering how he held me. How he said those words. He was so sincere.
I can’t take it anymore. I get out of bed and tiptoe to his room, crossing through the shared bathroom to his door. I knock.
Nothing.
I knock again.
It’s late. Maybe after three, so I don’t expect him to be awake.
Taking a chance, I turn the doorknob and peek inside.
The TV’s on and now I know why he can’t hear me because he’s wearing his Bose headphones.
I slide the door closed and the movement has his gaze shifting to mine.
He sits up, the snack he had in his lap falling onto the comforter.
“Lu?”
I can’t breathe. I’ve only been in his room a handful of times. The last being when I was seventeen and I was scared that night because of the storm. He’d slept with his arms around me. A memory I think of fondly and one that’s kept me safe in times when I needed it.
Now I’m here. I don’t know if to run toward him or run away. This is unfamiliar territory for me.
“Yes,” I stammer.
