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His lips thin out with my answer. I think maybe I’ve upset him. It makes me nervous, so I try to backtrack. “I mean, you don’t have to feel that way. I’m sure you have a lot of friends. I don’t though. I have trouble trusting people. Really, I only have a handful of people in my life. I’m not complaining, I like it like that. Of everyone, though. I’m closest to you. That makes you my best friend, but you don’t have to feel bad. I am not expecting tobe that to you. I mean, I doubt I’m anything much to you. I’d like to think?—”
His lips push against mine. My eyes squeeze shut as I close my mouth to stop from thrusting my tongue into his mouth.Oh my God, what in the hell is happening right now?This is more than any woman should have to endure. I know I’m stiff in his arms. Right now, I’m afraid to breathe. The temptation to deepen the kiss and beg him to let me love him is so strong that it could bring me to my knees.
When I don’t open my mouth, he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and runs his tongue along the inside. I feel desire pooling at my core. I can feel my panties grow damp as juices begin to trickle against the lips of my pussy. I try to squeeze my inner thigh muscles, to fight against the desire that’s growing inside of me. When he finally pulls back, I’m scared I may be having a heart attack because of the way it is pounding against my chest.
I bring my hand up to my lips, trying to ignore the way they tingle—or the hunger inside me wanting more. It takes a minute to get my breathing under control. I feel as if I’m going to cry if he doesn’t bring his lips back to mine. God, what is wrong with me.
“Wh-Why did you do that?” I finally get out. I can’t even recognize my own voice. Never have I sounded smokey and full of need. I know Victor can recognize my desire, but I choose to ignore that.
“Because you kept talking and spouting bullshit. I needed to shut you up.”
My head jerks back in shock. Okay, I can admit it. Somewhere deep inside of me, I was hoping he’d look at me and tell me he kissed me because he always wanted to. I wanted him to confess that he’s been imagining what my lips tasted like for the last year and he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. I sigh.Telling me he did it to shut me up hurts enough that it is almost painful. I push that away. I’ll deal with it later.
“I’m sorry…” I whisper lamely, wishing I could just kick him instead.
“Kitten, look at me.” I force myself to look him in the eyes. It’s not easy, but I already feel like an idiot. I don’t want to appear any weaker. His hand slides against my neck, while his thumb brushes against my cheek. “We’re not friends, Gia.”
I flinch with his words. I don’t think it would have hurt this much if he had just stabbed me in the heart. “You’re my friend,” I insist stubbornly like an idiot.
“I’m not.”
“But—”
“What is between us is more than friendship, Gia. Friends fade over time. I’m not fading from your life, Kitten. I’m here to stay.”
“Not all friends leave you,” I mutter, but even as I say it, I realize that most do. I have one friend that’s been in my life for as long as I can remember, but even I have to admit my friendship with Ree isn’t what it used to be. We still care about each other but if we go a month without talking, it’s fine. We text, but again we can go days without doing that. Even when I lived close to her, we would only do girl’s night once a month. We were both just busy.
“I’m here to stay, sweetheart. The sooner you get used to that the easier things will be.”
“What things? You’re being very confusing Victor.”
“Then stop overthinking it. When you think of me, just remember I’m here to stay, right by your side.”
I blink. If Victor had ever treated me like he saw me as a woman, I’d be tempted to try and kiss him and beg him to care for me, just a little. I don’t do that, because I’m all too aware that my relationship with Victor has been very G rated. On thefew brave nights where I tried to doll myself up and wear sexy—at least sexy for me—pajamas, nothing happened. Nothing as in nada, zilch, zero,nada!
Deanna is right. I do need to start dating. It is the only way I’m going to survive this friendship-non-friendship with Victor. It’s for that reason alone, I hide the turmoil I’m feeling and smile at him like I don’t have a care in the world.
“We’re not friends,” I respond. “We’re like?—”
“We’re much deeper than that. It’s you and me above everyone else. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Gia?”
No. No I do not.
“I think so,” I lie. “But before you get any deeper, can we just not? Let’s enjoy the rest of the night and any heavier conversations can wait until you come back.” I don’t really want to hear Victor tell me how we’re family. I’m sure he’ll use the word brother in this scenario. I think that might kill me.
He frowns, while staring at me and then finally sighs. “You’ll wait for me to come back? You’re not going to try running away and disappearing on me are you, sweetheart?”
I blink. “Why would I do that? This is my home now. I’m not leaving.”
“Gia—”
“Nowyou’rebeing silly. It’s not like anything has changed between us. I am an adult here you know.”
“Trust me, Kitten, I know,” he says with a sigh. For a moment, it looks like he’s thinking of kissing me again. He leans in, his lips get closer and closer. Butterflies in my stomach flutter harder and harder. My eyes slowly drift shut while my heart runs away with me. I try to prepare for his kiss. It never comes, instead his lips graze my cheeks where his thumb was petting me just moments earlier.
I don’t say anything. I’m too crushed in disappointment to utter actual words. Victor shifts on the couch, keeping me inhis lap and depositing the bowl of popcorn on my lap. “Eat up and let’s see if that chick gets smarter and chooses the wolf this time.”
“Look at you! You did pay attention when we watched these before,” I laugh, hoping I don’t giveaway the fact that my heart is breaking. My voice sounds almost shrill to my own ears.
