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I didn’t add that I would never be in the market for a relationship with him. Not because I didn’t like him. I did. I liked him far too much for my own good. But because he deserved far better than me.
I might be proud of the little life that I’d built for myself, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that society was always going to treat me like trash. I tried to live my life in a way that I could always respect myself even if no one else did, and I tried not to think about how Rose would react when she grew up and found out that her mother was a stripper. Maybe her friends would mock her for it. Maybe she’d hate me. But I would deal with that when I had to, with the knowledge and pride that I did my best for her.
The same couldn’t be said of Marcus. He lived in a completely different sphere. My pride and self-respect didn’t matter in his world. For Marcus, I would always be a weakness. A dirty little secret that would destroy his credibility if word got out that he was banging a stripper. And I would never do that to a man who had done so much to help me out.
I couldn’t date him while I worked at the club because of his pride, and I couldn’t date him while I carried so much debt because of mine.
“Do we have to discuss all this right now?” he asked grumpily.
“No, but I need you to understand exactly what we’re doing here, honey.”
“And what is that?”
“Fucking,” I replied starkly.
When he flinched at that word, I forced a smile.
“How about boinking?” I teased. “Does the grumpy billionaire like to boink me?”
Marcus leaned forward and kissed me hard.
“How about lo…” he began, but I covered his mouth with my palm.
“No,” I said sharply. “Just no!”
He wasn’t allowed to use the l-word. He wasn’t!
My eyes burned with tears I couldn’t shed, and I looked away before I stuffed a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, breathing hard.
“You can deny it all you like, Celine. This is way more than a situationship,” he said tenderly.
“Pfft! I’m just using you for your body,” I mumbled around a mouthful of ice cream.
I didn’t know if that convinced him, but it almost convinced me. Or it would have if I wasn’t already halfway in l-word with him.
CHAPTER 13
MARCUS
She could deny it all she liked, but this was way more than a situationship.
Sure, we were just getting to know each other, but there was something here. Something that kept pulling us back together even when we tried to go our separate ways. I’d had hookups before. Meaningless flings where I walked away with no desire to repeat it. Hell, most of my dating life fell under that category because I had never fallen in love with any of the women I’d slept with.
I liked them a lot, which was why we got into relationships, but it didn’t last, not even when the woman in question was perfect for me by everyone’s standards, even mine. And here was a woman who was far from perfect for me. She wasn’t even my type. Yet, I craved her, body and soul.
I wanted her enough to stay in her house even though she didn’t want me here and fought me on almost everything. I didn’t cook for Celine because I was worried she wouldn’t cook for herself. I knew she could do whatever she had to do. I cooked for her because I wanted to take care of her and make her life easy in the small ways she allowed. I wanted to provide for her and Rose for the rest of our lives because I couldn’t think of a time when I wouldn’t want them in my life.
I didn’t know that could happen overnight. I didn’t know a woman and her child could wind themselves into the very fabric of your being until you could no longer tell where you ended and they began. And yet, that’s exactly what was happening here. I knew it was too soon for any kind of permanence. But I also knew that if Celine decided to kick me out of their lives tonight, I would miss Rose as much as I missed her.
I wanted to see little Rosie Posie grow up in front of me. I wanted to make sure she got to become whatever she wanted in life, whether it was a Wall Street genius or a bohemian glass blower. And I wanted to make up for that shithead of a father she had.
But all this was what I wanted. I had no idea what Celine wanted, and I was very afraid that she didn’t want anything more than what we already had. I sighed as I fed her another chunk of brownie. There was nothing I could do about it, except go along and see where this led us.
I had no idea that my resolve was going to be tested the very next day.
When Celine left for work the next day, one of Monani’s cars set off after her. I chanced to be at the window, not because I was doing anything as sappy as straining to see her for as long as I could, but to make sure she got off to work alright. I saw the car peel out of its spot and follow her, and I was worried they were up to something.
I grabbed the keys to my Harley and followed, weaving through the traffic until I found Celine at a traffic light. I knocked on her window and her eyes were wide when she rolled her window down.
