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‘Iought to pop down toTheOldSchoolKitchenand say sorry,’ she addressed the blackbird hopping about at her feet, its golden-ringed eye cocked hopefully.Itsresponse was to cackle a warning. ‘Yes, maybe you’re right.Whatgood would it do?I’mnot in control of my feelings enough to be allowed anywhere nearRickand not pine after him.Andthat’s not going to do me any good, is it?He’swithMintyandIhave to accept the fact.Maybehe ought to accept that too.He’snot a single man.’Theblackbird took off, flying low over the hedge and disappeared, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Immediatelyafter the strange and disturbing confrontation withNevillethe week before,Jakobhad taken her into the office, sat her down, made her sweet tea and fed her biscuits, insisting it was good for shock.Watchinghim while he fussed around her, she thought how easy it would be if she could fall in love with him.Talland loose-limbed with dark-blond hair and grass-green eyes and that seductiveDutchaccent he should be easy to love.Buther heart remained stubbornly and irrevocably in love withRick.She’dbanged the mug down onto the table, spilling her tea.ShelovedRick!Theinsight had come as such a shock she began to tremble anew, worryingJakobso much he sat down next to her and enfolded her in his arms, shushing her like a baby.Hereally was a lovely man.Likea big brother.But, now her heart had been captured byRick, it seemed she couldn’t see any other man in any other way.ButRickwas attached.Nogood could come of that so it looked as if she was destined for a life alone, suffering unrequited love.Andit wouldn’t do to encourageJakobif she lovedRick; itwasn’t fair.Soshe needed strategies to get over a man she couldn’t have.
She’dcome a long way in a few years.Theencounter withNevillehad shaken her but it had also reminded her of the person she had once been.Bumblingalong in a career she wasn’t any good at and wasn’t suited to.Whyhad she thought that, just because she excelled at science and especially biology at school and university, she’d be any good at teaching it?Shehadn’t been too awful with the more able students and had even quite enjoyed their bright-eyed curiosity and willingness to learn but her classroom management skills had been awful.Theless confident she felt in the classroom, the worse her discipline got.Andthe grinding paperwork; the endless marking and lesson planning.Shehad her fair share of bureaucracy and boxes to tick as a business owner but at least whatever she did, it was for her profit and in her interests – and it was up to her how hard she worked.Yes, she’d made the right decision to change career, difficult though it was at times.
Shethought back to how she’d felt when first opening the shop.Amixture of terror and exhilaration.Butmostly terror.Funnilyenough, she realised, although she still worried, she was far more confident about it all now.Afew years’ experience under her belt made all the difference.Andshe loved what she did; that helped too.Thingshad been so hectic she’d hardly had time to reflect on how she’d grown as a businesswoman.Thedifficulties and problems would surely be there but it occurred to her, now, she would never want to do anything else.Andif she could survive the awful time when everything was locked down because ofCovidand she’d had to take all orders over the phone and deliver them personally, doing endless hours and working alone, surely she could survive anything?
Thenew beginning she’d put in place so tentatively long ago, the hard work of an evening class in floristry when she was still teaching, had all been worth it.She’dtriumphed!Andlook how far she’d come,WebFloriststatus successfully negotiated,expansion plans coming together.Shedidn’t often analyse, didn’t often have time for reflection but the insight into how far she’d come made her sit up proud.Shewas doing pretty damn well!Givingherself a metaphorical pat on the back, she made a promise to remember this moment.Andwith a dry laugh, she felt she might owe it all toNeville.Himturning up at the shop so bizarrely had put a lot of things into focus.
Straighteningher shoulders, she closed her eyes, lifted her face to the sunshine and took a moment to listen to the birds.Perhapsanother new beginning would be to give herself a little more, no alotmore credit.Sheheard a flurry of wings and opened her eyes to see the blackbird had returned.Ithopped about then stopped, one head sideways to the ground.
‘Oh, so you’re back.Istill haven’t anything for you to eat,I’mafraid butIpromise the next timeIpop byI’llbring you some birdseed.’Thebird gave her an old-fashioned look as if not believing a word.Daisyconsidered herself a scientist but the thought the blackbird might just carry a message from her dad crossed her mind.Orwas it robins which were supposed to appear when passed loved ones were near? ‘Loveyou,Dad.Alwayswill,’ she whispered. ‘Andthanks for reminding me to be proud of myself.IpromiseI’lldo better in the future.’
Thebird flew off again at the sound of feet on the gravel.Thebench sank a little to her right asJanjoined her.Hermother looked calm but there was no mistaking the red puffiness around her eyes.
‘Enjoyingthe peace and quiet, chickadee?’ she asked, taking out a tissue and blowing her nose.
‘Iam.Idon’t often get a moment to myself.I’vebeen talking to a blackbird.’
‘Wasit a good listener?’
‘Surprisingly, yes.’
‘I’vea little robin who comes to call at the cottage.Oftentalkto him too.Goodlisteners, birds.Whatdid you talk about?Theunsolved mystery that isWalterand his monthly order?’
Daisysmiled at her mother’s mention of the robin.Ifit was her dad, he’d been busy. ‘No, even he didn’t have a clue whoWalteris.Hewas all about the worms and whyIdidn’t have any crumbs.Itold himIwas quite proud of whatI’veachieved with the shop and he agreed.’
Janchuckled. ‘Haveyou only just realised that?’
‘Weirdly, yes.’
‘Andwhat’s brought all this on?’
‘Oh,Nevillehappened by the shop.’
‘Neville?Oh, chick,Ithought he’d been consigned to history.’
‘SodidI.It’sjust that nobody had toldNeville.Hewanted a coffee with me,Godknows why.Thenhe got a bit angsty whenItold him to bugger off.’
‘No!’Jantook her hand. ‘Oh, my lovely, he didn’t get nasty, did he?’Hervoice was warm with concern, she’d never likedNeville. ‘Whathappened?’
‘Justthat really,Itold him to go, he got all whiney and sulky, annoyingly didn’t take any notice of me soJakobhad to step in.’Daisydecided not to mentionRick.TalkingaboutRickwas all too confusing. ‘Whatis it about men who take on board what other men say but won’t listen to women?’
Janhuffed. ‘Mighthave something to do withJakobhaving height and muscle.Nevillealways struck me as having the potential of being a bully come half a chance.Thankgoodness you weren’t on your own.Areyou sure you’re all right?’
‘I’mfine but yesIwas glad ofJakob.Nevilleeventually took the hint and trotted off back to his wife.’
‘Awfulman.’Janshuddered.
‘Iknow.Ican’t think whatIsaw in him.’
Janwas silent for a moment.Daisysensed she was building up to saying something.
‘Daisy,Iknow it comes across as ifInag at you to find a man butI’dfar rather you were alone and happy than with someone like that and miserable.Youdo know that, don’t you?’
Daisyturned to her. ‘Oh, me too,Mum, me too.Andyes,Itake all the teasing on board butIdo know that.’
‘Butwhy did it make you think about how well you’re doing with the shop?’
