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‘Oh,Idon’t know really.Itgot me thinking about how ifNevilleasked me out nowIwouldn’t give him the time of day.I’msuch a different person now.’
‘Inever understood why you did in the first place.’
Daisysighed. ‘Oh,Mum,Iwas so unhappy teaching, so mixed up and confused as to whoIwas and whatIwanted out of life,Ithink he caught me at a vulnerable moment.AndthenIsuppose it was so nice to have someone around, to have someone else to take to parties and go to the cinema with, that sort of thing,Ijust carried on.’
‘Andyou wouldn’t do that now?’
‘No.Definitelynot.ThinkI’mmore confident.ThinkI’vefinally gained some self-esteem.IttookNevilleturning up to make me realise how differentIam to the person he knew back then.I’mdefinitely more sure of whatIwant.’It’sjust thatIcan’t have it.Daisyleft the last sentence in her head. ‘Ithink it’s finally dawning on me that if a bloke comes along and wants to be with me that would be fine but, equally,I’mmore than okay on my own.’
‘Ithink what you’ve achieved is wonderful,’ her mother said unexpectedly. ‘AndIknowIdon’t say things like that very often.Withthe shop,Imean.’
Daisyfelt a lump lodge in her throat. ‘Thanks,Mum, that means so much.’
‘Well, you have,Daisy.You’veworked so hard and it’s been a tough few years for any business let alone a small one that’s not long been established.Lotsof people tell me how lovely your flowers are, you know, and how long they last.EvenBrendaPearceis complimentary.’
‘Soshe should be, she always gets them at a discount!’Daisysaid, with a twist of the lips. ‘Still,Idon’t mind too much, she’s one of my best, most regular customers.Shecould easily buy them from the supermarket probably even cheaper but she always comes to me.Thanks,Mum,’ she repeated. ‘Itfeels good to hear you’re proud of me.’
Jansniffed. ‘Well, asIsaid,Idon’t praise you nearly enough.Itcan’t have been easy, going into something as hard as teaching having not long lost your father.’
‘Itwasn’t easy for any of us,Mum, especially you.Andyou did an amazing job with us all afterDaddied.Youheld us all together.Alongwith help from theWiscombeclan.’Daisytook her mother’s hand. ‘What’sbrought all this on?Youusually run a mile before talking about feelings.’
‘SupposeI’vegot used to bottling them up, controlling them.Ihad to keep a brave face on for you and the twins.Cominghere, seventeen years after your dad died, it’s made me rethink a lot of things.’
‘Acemetery’s a good place to think things through.’
‘True.Andthis is a nice one.Youcould end up somewhere a lot worse.Iknelt byRod’sgrave and thought of all the timesIdidn’t tell him how proudIwas of him, of working so hard to look after us all.’
Daisyput her arm around her mother and hugged her close. ‘I’msure he knew.’
‘That’sjust it,I’mnot sure he ever did.Itook him for granted,Ithink.Infact, he spent so much time at work,Ioften used to get a bit jealous of the time it took away from me.’
‘Youwere both so young.Dadwas young when he died.Youprobably thought you had loads of time to say the things you wanted.’
‘Possibly.ButI’llsay to you whatIwanted to say to him.’
‘What’sthat,Mum?’
‘ThatIcouldn’t have wanted a better daughter than you,my chickadee.Whenyou went into teachingImistakenly thought it was the perfect job for you.Acareer for life.Secure, good prospects.Yourdad would have thoroughly approved of it too.Sowhen you told me about wanting to start up a florist’s shop,Ihave to confessIthought you were throwing your qualifications away.AndthenIsaw how hard you were working, just like your dad, putting in all the hours, not having time for a social life, or much of one.Iworried you’d end up like him.Workedinto an early grave.’
Daisyhugged her mother closer. ‘Noneof us knew about his heart condition,Mum.Wedidn’t know, couldn’t have foreseen he’d keel over from that massive heart attack.Hewas never even ill apart from the odd cold.Theheart attack could have happened had he been a lazy so-and-so.’
‘Andthere speaks my scientific daughter.’
‘Well, it’s true,’Daisyprotested. ‘Howcould any of us have known?’
Janshrugged off her daughter’s arm and twisted to face her.Shetook her hands. ‘SoI’llsayI’mincredibly proud of you, for being brave and hard-working, butI’llalso say this; don’t let your job be your life.Orit’ll end up being your grave too.’
Daisywasn’t sure what to say.WithoutRick, all she had left was her career.Perhapsthis was what was behind her mother’s teasing banter about finding a boyfriend?Itwas less to do with grandchildren and more to do with preventing her daughter becoming a workaholic.
‘Ipromise,Mum.Ipromise.’Daisyscrubbed at her face, as tears were beginning to fall.
‘Here.’Janfished in her pocket and brought out a little packet of tissues.Shepeeled one off and handed it over.
Fora long time, mother and daughter sat in silence gazing over the serried graves, the smooth lush grass, the leaves circling down from the sycamore trees.Theblackbird landed yet again, eyed them and tookoff.
‘I’llsay one thing for that bird,Iadmire its optimism,’Daisysaid, breaking the quiet.
Hermother laughed. ‘Howevermisplaced.Mustremember to bring a few biscuit crumbs next time.That’sifMarionever leaves us any digestives.Forsomeone permanently on a diet, she doesn’t half get through them.’
