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I shook my head at her, trying to give her the most annoyed look on the face of the planet, even though, deep down, I would be happy to win a large stuffed animal—for her or Holly. Hell, for them, I’d win ten.
“If you are forcing me, I can do the darts pretty well—or the bottle tower.”
“The bottle tower?” Holly asked. “I heard they were glued together.”
“Who told you that.” I glared at my daughter.
“Donald.”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Donald may be a heart surgeon, but he doesn't know anything about carnival games. I doubt he has even been to a carnival.”
“But…” Madeline raised her eyebrows and pulled my gaze to her. Talking bad about my ex’s husband was something I tried not to do in front of Holly. If she caught me, Madeline would always turn it into something positive for him. “He can save lives like inGrey’s Anatomy.”
I chuckled at her and nodded. I met my gaze with Holly, whose eyebrows were creased and eyes were narrow. My little eight-year-old had no idea the dramatic effectsGrey’shad on a person.
“You’ll figure it out when you're older, little padawan.” I reached over and ruffled her hair.
“You had to bringStar Warsinto it?” Madeline chuckled.
“I’m stuffed.” Holly pushed her plate away, instantly changing the subject. “What time is it? What should we do next?”
I looked at my watch and began to ramble off the activities we could do. Without hesitation, she chose the carnival games.
Two large stuffed animals later—a panda for Madeline and a unicorn for Holly—we stood in line for the ferris wheel, the last adventure of the day. I could tell Holly’s energy was wearing down as the sun set, and Madeline looked just as tired. She leaned her head on my shoulder while we stood there waiting for our turn to climb into the small chair.
The sun had set thirty minutes before, the twilight hitting the trees and buildings, the lights all around us beginning to flicker on. The carnival looked more magical than it really was, but in reality, the day had been one of the best ones I had had in a long time. Holly never once grew tired of the games or riding the same ride over and over. We ordered corn dogs and ate them as we walked the rest of the grounds, enjoying part of the rodeo from the sidelines. Holly cheered when the small calf didn't get roped. She was the only one cheering that the animal had won.
Now, as the stars began to peak out into the sky, I had Holly jumping up and down, waiting for the ride, and Madeline half asleep on my shoulder.
This.
This was the life I had always wanted.
I grinned at the thought as the ride operator called us forward, pulling Madeline from my shoulder.
We dropped Madeline off at her house, a barking Niko grinning from the window. She waved goodbye and slipped inside. I watched as the door closed and the light turned on, Niko disappearing from the window to greet his human.
“That was a fun day,” Holly muttered in the backseat.
“It was. I’m glad it happened, kiddo.”
She sighed and kept her eyes to the window. “Daddy,” she said softly. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Mommy and Donald got married. Why don’t you and Aunt Maddy get married?”
I looked at her in the rearview mirror. “Well,” I choked, swallowing any form of word vomit that I knew would come up if I didn't think before I spoke. Leave it to Holly to notice something. “Aunt Maddy is my best friend. I can’t just marry her,” I finally mustered.
“You should. I’ve never seen Aunt Maddy smile like she did today. I think if you asked her to marry you, she would say yes.” Holly looked from the window to the front seat. “You looked happy too, Daddy.”
“You’re eight. You were supposed to be having a fun time at the carnival, ignoring everything else that was happening, getting sick from too much funnel cake.” I waved my arm in the air, keeping my eyes firmly on the road, then landed it harder than intended on the steering wheel.
“I may be eight, but I see things, Daddy. I know you’re not the happiest, but with Aunt Maddy, you seem happier. So does she.” She spoke softly, as if she was channeling an older, wiser Holly from the future.
I bit the inside of my lip, looking quickly at her look back out the window, leaning her head against the seat. I didn’t respond. I didn’t knowhowto respond.
Did Madeline make me happy? Well, she had always brought a smile to my face, always bringing light in where there was nothing but darkness. She entered my life when my mom died, putting me into a depression. Madeline helped pull me out of it. She went with me to therapy sessions and talked to me on the phone when I couldn’t sleep. She was there when I met Hannah, and she was there when I married her. She was there when Holly was born; cradling her moments after I had. She was there during the divorce. Madeline was always there.
