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If I said that Madeline didn't change my life, that she didn’t bring me happiness…I would be lying.
I took what seemed to be my millionth deep breath of the day, since I first woke up this morning and smelled her strawberry lotion.
I had a lot to think about here.
All week long, Holly’s words steeped in my brain, though Holly had seemed to forget them the instant she fell asleep in the car. I pictured Madeline in my life in more ways than she already was. Making breakfast and drinking our coffee, going to bookstores, running mundane errands and finally curling up on the couch or in bed together.
She entered my mind when I passed Powell’s Bookstore and when I saw her favorite waffle food truck. Her smile flashed through my memory when I saw an ad for the Piano Bar on Instagram. Her auburn hair in a braid over her shoulder popped into my mind when I saw a flier for her office in my mailbox. Thoughts of her were everywhere. And those simple thoughts would send shivers up my spine.
I couldn’t help but think of us…
Together.
Madeline had just been dumped by a cheating boyfriend, one that I could guarantee never treated her how she deserved to be treated. Not after that remark at the block party. Not after leaving her high and dry several times, not dumping her a year ago. He strung her along, made her believe she was loved and getting engaged. She deserved so much better than him. Madeline deserved the world.
Maybe I could be the one to give that to her. Maybe one date wouldn’t hurt. Maybe being with her was the right path to take. Maybe Madeline was always supposed to be something more.
I knew what I wanted. I wanted to try again. Hopefully, she did too.
It wouldn’t hurt to ask, right?
When Friday afternoon came, I rushed Holly out the door. She hurried around the apartment, trying to gather all her belongings, holding her giant unicorn in her arms as we locked the door and ran out to the truck. I sped down the road, my mind preoccupied on other things as I raced to the house I used to share with Hannah.
We skidded to a stop and ran up the sidewalk to the front door, Holly’s key chains rattling the whole way. Hannah was already out on the porch, her arms folded across her chest, that same disappointed look I had gotten used to seeing during our marriage.
“You’re late,” she grumbled.
Holly spun and gave me a quick hug before running in the house.
“Love you, baby,” I called, waving to Holly as she disappeared in the entryway. I didn’t take notice of Hannah's comment. My mind was somewhere else.
“Milo…” Hannah stepped off the porch as soon as Holly was inside.
“Yeah, sorry,” I fumbled, turning my back to her. “Traffic was crazy. I’ll see you on Friday for drop off.”
“Milo,” she said my name again, louder, making me stop and turn back to her.
“Listen, I'm sorry I’m late…”
“Milo,” she said again, interrupting me. I was getting tired of hearing my name and “we need to talk.”
“I can’t right now, Hannah, I’m…” I’m what? I didn’t have to work tonight and she knew that, but I wasn’t going to tell her what I was going to do. “I’m meeting Elliot…”
“Not now, not with Holly. Can we meet sometime soon?” Her arms dropped to her sides. Donald appeared in the doorway behind her. His broad build and dark hair thinning on top of his head. His glare hit me like a thousand knives.
I looked at Hannah, narrowing my eyes. “Yeah, that’s fine. We can meet soon. Just let me know. But I gotta go.”
I heard her sigh loudly as I ran back to my truck, not stopping for the world. I drove off, one track on my mind, completely forgetting that Hannah needed to talk. I needed to get to Madeline’s house before I chickened out.
I parked on the street, quickly turned off the truck, and then pivoted to stare at her house. The living room light was on, and her car was in the drive. It was close to six. She had most likely just gotten home from work. I sighed, gave myself a little pep talk, and then left the car, slowly walking up the path to her front door.
I fumbled with my keys, knowing if I just were to use my spare key and walk in, Madeline would welcome me with open arms and pull out a can of soda for me. We would talk about her day and how her patients had terrible breath. I would tell her about my week with Holly and how Hannah wanted to talk about something, something that I could care less about.
I didn’t want to fall into our normal rhythm, so I walked up her steps and lightly pressed her doorbell, my fingers and heart shaking more than I had ever felt them shake.
Chapter Thirteen
-Madeline-
