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Ellie wasn’t sure she understood and frowned. “So what? It was done some time ago. When I came out of the foster system. I don’t think I even bothered to read it back then. Why is it important?”
For the longest time he seemed to examine her face. “Why do you love me?”
The question sounded so incredible it was difficult to understand what he was thinking. “Why do I love you?”
“Yes. It is a simple question with a simple answer.”
“I just love you. That’s the simple answer. I fell for your heart, your mind. How strong you are.”
“Strong? I know I didn’t feel strong when I dialed your number by accident. I told you I wanted to end it all at the time. And if not for you, I would have. I’m grateful for that. But that’s not why I fell in love with you. And I didn’t fall for you because you needed me.”
It was as if she was drifting when he said those words, and she wasn’t certain how to react.
Sam must have interpreted her stunned silence as an agreement. “You’ve been diagnosed with a savior complex. I know what happened less than twenty-four hours before I called you. You lost a desperate man on a call. It’s understandable you wanted to save me too. It’s in your DNA, you couldn’t help yourself. And maybe in trying to help me, you helped yourself too.”
“Stop! Stop!” Ellie wanted to scream and cry at what he was telling her, express how it tore at her soul, but she remained numb.
Sam only looked at her and nodded. “Stay here until I come back. I’ll probably have more news and a plan.” And without a backward glance, Sam closed the door behind him.
Alone, surrounded by silence, Ellie swayed and barely made it to the couch where she fell.
How could Sam think she wanted to be with him only so she could save him? How could he believe that?
In that instant, when everything became dark around her, pain squeezed her heart with such force she couldn’t draw a full breath. Ellie knew she wouldn’t go down without a fight. She may have helped Sam, but what she felt for him was more than a case to solve or a life to save. He was her everything; everything she’d never thought she could have or need. An anchor and a guiding light.
There was a bit of truth in what he’d said. It was in her to help, to save someone in any way she could, even if it was only through a telephone line. But Sam didn’t need saving, he only needed an anchor and a light to guide him back to himself.
It was impossible to know how long she sat there, lost in her thoughts. All she had to do was go to him and make him understand that he was wrong.
Ellie was at the door before she could think, but before she could exit, Panem blocked her way with a smile, announcing something ugly was about to come her way.
Chapter Twenty-Two
For the first time ever,Ellie felt her mind go completely blank when Panem’s form filled the doorway.
“Ms. McLaren.”
Before she could invite him in, he pushed past her to stand in the middle of the living room. It felt wrong to have him there. Since they’d been locked inside this house, nobody had invaded their private quarters, giving them a sense of safety, but that was shattered as Panem walked around, touching the furniture. It felt so wrong.
“Sam isn’t here at the moment.”
Panem didn’t answer right away, stretching the discomfort. He always had an air of superiority about him when he was with her, but now, Ellie could feel something more in him, and she was wary of it.
“I know. I met him as he was on his way to the gym area. I expect he will be there working up a sweat. He probably needs it.”
There was a smirk on his face, and she understood what he meant. “You were the one that Finch got to look into my past, my psychological record, and that psychobabble so he could mess with his head. What kind of monster are you?”
Panem didn’t look at her, obviously unconcerned. “Mr. Finch was concerned for his son. Your emotions or what you think is irrelevant.”
Caution was burned away by outrage. “Concerned? I think with everything he’s done to his son, he shouldn’t even use that word. For all he’s done, for all Sam’s suffering, prison wouldn’t be enough for that filth.”
Panem’s reaction was hard and swift as he backhanded her, sending her tumbling to the floor. The pain didn’t matter, it only reminded her she was at a disadvantage and alone. She had to be careful and stay alive.
Finch’s minion looked down at her as if she were dirt under his boot, that damn smirk still on his face. When Ellie got up, it took all her self-control not to launch herself at him and destroy that smiling mouth.
“I didn’t come here to deal with a hysterical woman.”
Oh, she’d be glad to give him a taste of what a hysterical woman could do. “What do you want?”
