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He grins. “I hope you’re hungry because there’s a pub that serves the best meat that I want to take you to.”
And that weight grows heavier.
He isn’t taking me to some fancy restaurant where I won’t eat the food. He’s not repulsed by the thought of me wanting food. He also likes my family.
And I just slept with another guy only moments before we were meant to be on a date.
“Starving,” I whisper as he waits for me to walk out first.
After checking the door is locked, we head down the path to his car. The hairs on the nape of my neck stand on end, and I scan my surroundings.
Maybe it’s Ben still lurking around.
“Are you okay?” Jackson asks, as he too begins to survey the area.
I force the feeling of being watched away and force a smile. “I’m good. Just hate this road when it’s dark,” I lie.
“It does need a few more streetlights,” he muses.
“Yeah,” I murmur, as I lower myself into the seat.
He closes the door behind me and I take in a breath, holding it steady for a moment.
Maybe this hasn’t started the way it should have.
It doesn’t mean we can’t turn this around.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Imogen
The empty plates are pushed to the side, and my stomach is full. Jackson wasn’t lying when he said this place had the best meats. I had tikka bites as a starter, and my god, I wanted to order more, until Jackson swore the mains were just as good. He wasn’t wrong. The steak was so juicy and the flavours exploded on my tongue. I asked what it was seasoned with but the waitress said the chef doesn’t give out ingredients.
The pub is like every other pub, except for it doesn’t have the standard beiges and browns. It has dark grey seating, light grey tables, and cream walls. The bar is the centre feature with tables scattered around. There are banquette seats running along the walls, which is where we are seated. I took the banquette seat whereas Jackson took the round chair, his back to the room.
Now he’s moved to sit next to me, his arm resting on the back of the booth. I admire him. He came from a family who, he tells me, make the family from the drama series Shameless look like the perfect family. He grew up in a rough neighbourhood, where gang life was the only choice some kids had. He had been in and out of group homes because his mum was always falling off the wagon. She had nine kids with seven different men, and Jackson is the youngest at twenty-nine. But he made something of himself despite all of that. He went to university, where he studied criminal law alongside subjects like operational and investigative policing. He watched his brother get arrested for a crime he didn’t commit and wanted to become a part of the justice system to help people just like him. Not only does he work full-time as a policeman but he helps run an outreach program for troubled teens.
He’s perfect in every way, yet my mind is still back at home, thinking about what happened.
Fucking Ben and his mind games.
I don’t know what he’s playing at. He wants me one minute then disregards me the next. He’s hot then he’s cold. And he knows just how to play me. And I let him, because he’s all I’ve ever wanted.
And now I have a great guy in front of me, one I could definitely see myself with, but all I can think about is him. The universe really knows how to fuck up life. Or maybe I’m doing that all by myself because I’ve been here before. Zach had been the great guy, one I could picture being with. And just like now, Ben was all I could think about.
I’m toxic.
I bleed toxic.
And it’s all because one man has control over me. Control I never gave him. But he does. And I’m back in the same position again.
I’m questioning my choices.
Again.
I’m messing with another guy.
Again.
