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And I have no idea how I got here.
I want to tell Jackson before the night is over. Leading him on is out of the question. I should have done it before we left.
As he finishes telling me about a fight that broke out at work, I remember something I thought of earlier but forgot to ask.
“I’ve been meaning to ask... Are you allowed to be on a date with me, since I’m a victim or suspect? I’m still not sure which one I am.”
He grins whilst lowering his drink to the table. “Ethically, no. It’s a big no-no in the police academy. It’s why I turned up at your work without the uniform. My supervisor said as long as I don’t get involved with the case, I’m good. And I can’t talk about it to anyone either.”
He means me. He can’t talk to me about it.
“But you came to my house in uniform,” I point out. “And my dad’s work, when you warned him about my arrest warrant.”
“We were on a lunch break when we went in to see Evan, and as long as you don’t tell anyone I was there at your house or that I updated you, we should be good.”
“My lips are sealed,” I promise, and then I realise something. “Wait, Beau was on Faith’s case. Does that mean he will get into trouble?”
“No. At the time, he was in what our supervisors called a grey area. Plus, no one would argue with Beau. He respects the law too much to break it. He’s done a lot in the time he’s come to work with us and he’s kind of a legend for taking on the Carters as family.”
I laugh at that. “I wouldn’t give him that honour just yet. He might still take Faith and disappear into the sunset to get away from them.”
“I’ve not met Max yet but the entire station is scared of him. Dillon from forensics sees things most people would never recover from, and yet Max has him running from the room ready to vomit. I was on holiday when Max was last brought in, but I heard Dillon walked out of work and took the week off.”
“Max is, um… he’s spirited.”
“Didn’t he get arrested for blasting Ellie Goulding’sBurnduring the middle of a Sunday service?”
“In all fairness, he really did think the church would burn down after he walked in,” I point out. “He just wanted the appropriate theme tune.”
“Isn’t he married?”
I clear my throat. “Yeah, but that’s another story.”
“Can’t wait to hear about it,” he banters, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you came tonight.”
I gulp, unable to hold his gaze. “Yeah, me too. I’ve had fun.”
He shifts in his seat and leans into me. I lift my head, my heart hammering as he leans in closer. And just when he’s about to kiss me, I turn my head to the left so he kisses my cheek.
He quickly pulls back, lowering his gaze. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“I’m sorry…”
He smiles, tapping my chin with his knuckles. “It’s fine. I just wanted to make sure.”
“Look, it’s—”
“Don’t give me the, it’s me, not you speech. You’ll break my heart,” he teases. “I had a feeling you weren’t into this as much as I was. I just wanted to make sure.”
My shoulders drop. “I really am sorry. My life is complicated right now.”
“Ben’s the complication, right?”
My eyes widen. “What? Why would you say that?”
“I’m a policeman. It’s my job to read the room, and trust me, I read the jealousy coming off him.”
“God, I feel like such a fool. I’m so sorry, Jackson. I really am,” I begin. “Things arecomplicated, but we aren’t a couple.”
