AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He hasn’t tried to fight for me.
Izaac warned me right from the beginning that he was never going to love me, and maybe he feels something, but he said so himself, he doesn’t know how to love, and I was the foolish, lovestruck idiot who was too blind to actually hear what he was saying.
Every part of me aches as I turn on my heel and trudge back toward the front door, each step heavier than the last, knowing what I have to do. Me and Izaac—we’re done. We were done the second Austin found me in his best friend’s arms. We were done before it even started.
I forced this relationship onto him. Sure, it started as a complete coincidence, but the day he stormed into my apartment and demanded I forgive him for what happened during my second visit to Vixen, I should have turned him away. I never should have demanded he teach me. We could have called it quits, and sooner or later, everything would have gone back to normal.
But now . . . everything is ruined.
Austin is never going to see me as his innocent little sister ever again. He’s never going to love me like he used to, and as for their friendship, I don’t know if there’s any saving it now.
With a heavy heart, I walk back out to my car, and as I drive away from the home I’m no longer welcome in, I drive on autopilot, not knowing where I’m going, all that matters is that it’s away from Austin.
I thought his love for me would be enough to pull us through. I thought he’d still hold on to me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I knew he was angry, but this . . . I’ve never felt so broken.
I drive for hours, sailing down the highway and back until my tank is almost empty, ignoring the calls and texts from Mom and Becs. They’re probably only making sure I’m still alive, but am I? What am I supposed to say after that? I sure as hell don’t feel alive.
It’s after ten when I finally pull to a stop. My eyes are swollen and sore from hours of crying, and my chest . . . just feels empty, but as I gaze out the window to Izaac’s home, the emptiness turns into a great chasm of heartache.
Getting out of my car, I find myself standing there for a few moments, leaning against the closed driver’s door and just staring at his home. It’s hard to convince myself that all the dreams I ever had about building a life with Izaac never mattered in the first place. Then before I can find the courage to walk up to the door and bring an end to everything I ever wanted, the door opens and Izaac appears, looking just as broken as I feel.
There’s a grim expression across his face, and when he steps over the threshold and makes his way toward me, I prepare for the worst.
This is it. He’s calling it quits just as he should have done from the beginning.
It’s a good thing. At least he’ll be the one to do it so I won’t have to be the one to tear my own heart to pieces. It’s better this way, and one day, maybe years from now, I’ll be able to come to peace with it all, but damn, it’s going to hurt for a long time.
I can barely meet his eyes as he moves in before me, and just when I expect him to say the words that will tear me to shreds, he takes another step and pulls me into his arms. His body folds against mine, and he holds me there, his hand on the back of my head as my face squishes against his strong chest, hearing nothing but the sound of his beating heart. “I don’t want to lose you, Birdy.”
My gaze lifts to meet his, unsure where he’s going with this.
“I said from the very start that I didn’t want to hurt you,” he tells me, his other hand clutching my waist. “And now I have no fucking choice.”
“Izaac,” I breathe, my hand on his chest fisting into the material, not ready to hear the words come out of his mouth.
“I’m sorry, Aspen. I should never have allowed it to get this far. I’ve always known how you felt about me, and despite how you said that it wouldn’t change anything, I knew it would. I allowed it to continue, knowing that you would get more attached.”
“Don’t,” I say, my voice wavering. “Don’t start acting as though you never felt it. I know you did.”
“I’m not trying to say that I didn’t. I think we’re at a point now where I can no longer deny it. What I feel for you, Aspen . . . it fucking kills me that this can’t just be easy. I can’t just sweep you away and call you mine. Austin’s been my best friend for twenty-five years, and despite how I feel about it and how I know it’s going to tear you apart, I stand by what I said at your parents’ house. I can’t do this with you, not until Austin is okay with it.”
Tears roll down my cheeks, and he hastily wipes them away. “He’s never going to be okay with it,” I tell him.
Izaac nods and understanding dawns in my chest. “I know.”
“So, this is it?” I cry, pushing out of his arms. “We just go on pretending that we never happened.”
“We have to.”
I turn around, unable to even look at him without crumbling. He’s discarding what little is left of my heart as though I never mattered. He moves in behind me, his arms locking around my waist as we stand in a broken silence, neither of us willing to walk away.
“Austin thinks I whored myself out to you, and that you took advantage of me,” I murmur. “He said as long as I was still seeing you, he was done with me.”
“Fuck,” Izaac breathes, turning me in his arms. He takes my chin and lifts it until my red-rimmed eyes are locked on his. “Do you think I took advantage of you?”
I shake my head. “Austin said—”
“I don’t give a shit what Austin said,” he tells me. “I want to know what you think.”
