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He shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “The night of my fake murder, I was booked on a flight to New Zealand. All I wanted was to get on that plane and leave everything behind. But when our plan to rescue you failed, everything changed. I couldn’t leave until I knew you were safe. I wanted to go and get you that same night, but Carl was worried about me blowing my cover, and possibly his, and asked me to wait a couple more days while he thought of a way to get you out. He said you were safe, keeping to your room, out of Ned’s way—”
“Only because Ned had locked me in,” I interrupt. “And that was after he almost killed me,” I add, not caring about the shock on his face.
“What do you mean?”
“He suffocated me like he suffocated Lina. Except he didn’t go all the way to the end, because he still needed me.”
He rubs his hand over his chin. “Christ, Amelie, I had no idea—”
“Carry on,” I interrupt, my voice hard.
He nods. “By then, Carl didn’t care about spying on Ned. That night, the night we kidnapped you, he had listened in to a call Ned made to Amos Kerrigan. Jethro Hawthorpe had been at the house and Ned was angry, he said you’d made him look a fool and that he wanted to get rid of you. He told Amos to go to the house and kill you, and make it look like a burglary gone wrong. Before I could panic, Carl said that he had a plan. He was going to kidnap Ned, and take you as well, because you were the perfect solution to the problem of how to make Ned’s disappearance pass unnoticed. I asked what he meant, and he said that if he kidnapped the two of you, he could make it look as if you and Ned had gone on vacation together and that way, nobody would know that Ned had been kidnapped. He could also make it look as if the reason Ned had gone away was because he was being hounded by the press over the sexual assault allegations, which in turn would lead to him supposedly taking his own life. And rather than tarnish the foundation, his death would be met with sympathy.”
It takes a moment for it to sink in.
“So, if I hadn’t been kidnapped along with Ned, if I’d been left behind, I would have been killed by Amos Kerrigan?”
“Yes. Carl said that he would keep you and Ned for two weeks and that when they were up, he would need you to tie up all the ends. After that, you’d be free. He told me to book my flight, saying that he had it all in hand, that there was no reason for me to stay. But I couldn’t leave you with Carl. Lina had been the love of his life, they were planning to marry, have children, and her death had affected him to the pointwhere I barely knew him. He was so full of anger, and I was worried that he’d treat you the same as Ned. So, I told him I’d help with the kidnapping, and stay around to see it through. I don’t expect you to understand, or forgive what we did—”
“Don’t worry, I won’t,” I say, cutting him off. “How do you think I feel, knowing that I was kidnapped so that Mr. Smith, whoever he is, could get away with murder?” Once again, I can’t keep the bitterness from my voice. “Was it worth it, everything that was done to protect the foundation?”
“Not from where I’m standing, no.”
“Was it you who delivered Ned to Mr. Smith?”
“No, it was Carl. He took Ned to the clifftop and told him that someone would come and collect him.”
“Your murder was in the newspaper. Was that down to Mr. Smith too?”
“Yes. We needed to make it seem real, in case anyone checked.”
“You could have told me,” I say. “Once we were at the house in Haven Cliffs, you could have told me the truth. If you had explained what Carl was doing, let me in on it, I could still have backed up the story about Ned and me going away for a break, and I could have spent those two weeks in one of the bedrooms upstairs instead of in a pitch-black room on a mattress, thinking I might die at any moment.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, sorrier than you can believe.” He tries to walk toward me but I hold the plank of wood up higher and he steps back again. “But Carl didn’t trust you. He said that if you saw our faces, you might go to the police once you were released.”
“Butyoucould have trusted me.”
“I was supposed to be dead. And I didn’t know how you would feel about what we were doing.”
“You knew I hated Ned.”
“Most people who hate someone don’t want them dead. Morally, I think you would have struggled, knowing what was going to happen to him.”
“I saw him kill Lina, that was enough to remove any moral obligation I might have felt.”
“If I’d known that you’d witnessed her murder, I would never have put you through something so brutal,” he says quietly.
“She threatened to expose Ned, she told him she had recordings of the women he’d abused.” I pause. “Where is Carl? Shouldn’t he be here, trying to excuse his behavior, like you?”
“I’m not trying to excuse my behavior.” There’s an edge to his voice. “I had a choice, go or stay. I stayed and now I have to live with the consequences of that choice.”
Heat rises to my cheeks. He had stayed because he didn’t want to leave me with Carl.
“I don’t see Carl,” he goes on. “I haven’t seen him since he came back from the memorial service. Finding out how Lina had died—it was hard for him. He went to stay with our mum for a bit but then he took himself off. I don’t know if, or when, I’ll see him again. For the moment, I need the distance.” He nods at the piece of wood I’m still holding. “I don’t suppose you’d like to put that down?”
I don’t want to give him anything, but I let the piece of wood fall to the floor.
“Is it okay if I sit?”
