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I’m expecting the next strike and grab her hand before she hits me.
“Do that again and see what happens.”
We stare each other down, both of us furious. She pulls her hand free.
“You are my biggest mistake. I wish I would have held you under the water longer,” she hisses before leaving, slamming the door in her wake.
When she’s gone, I sit on the edge of the bed. I’ve just made things a million times worse for myself. I know it. She’s not going to let this slide. Cursing, I stand and cross the room to the door. It’s locked. I jiggle the knob again just to make sure. That bitch locked me in, which means I’m probably not getting food today. That’s fine. The wedding is tomorrow, which means I’ll be able to eat then. I hope.
Padding to my dresser, I grab a pill from my book and toss it back as I go into the bathroom. Turning on the water in the tub, I let it fill before undressing. I slide down in the tub until my head is underwater and I hold my breath. Above me, the shapes of the bathroom ripple with the water.
I’ve always had an odd fascination with being under water. My chest pangs, and I shove away the feeling before it takes over, reminding me of the past… of a time when my mother was the one holding me under water, just like this. Her words dance around in my mind.I wish I would have held you under the water longer.Exhaling, I watch bubbles float above me. She almost killed me that day. When she was found holding me under, she lied and said I had slipped. And no one questioned her. After that, I took baths on my own.
I stay submerged until I can’t take it any longer and sit, gasping for air. Leaning against the tub, I try to clear my mind of all thoughts. Like magic, the pill kicks in and I feel so relaxed that I lean back, closing my eyes. I’m almost asleep when I feel Odin’s presence.
I ask, “What are you doing in here?”
“Your mother said you refused to go to the dress fitting.”
I turn my head, looking up at him. “Well, if she said it then it must be true. Though, one might wonder why my door was locked from the outside, if that was truly the case.”
His jaw tics.
“I don’t like it when the two of you fight.”
“No, I suppose you wouldn’t like your fiancé and side piece fighting.” I slide lower in the tub, so that my chin touches the water. “Close the door on your way out.”
I don’t wait to see if he leaves. Instead, I slide under the water until I’m submerged again. The drugs in my system make me feel so sleepy and relaxed under the warm water. Too bad I’m not a fish. I’d love to live under here. A dark euphoric calm settles over me as I exhale, sending bubbles toward the surface. There’s a dark spot above the tub that I want to go toward, but don’t because I know it’s probably Odin.
My lungs burn and yet I refuse to sit. Just a bit longer. I need this time alone. The urge to inhale is so strong that it makes my chest ache. What could it hurt? No one would miss me. Not really. I’m about to do it when two firm hands reach into the water, pulling me out. I sputter and gasp, my vision filled with little black spots.
“What in the fuck are you doing?”
I shake my head, unable to say the words aloud.
Odin says, “I asked you a question.”
“Nothing.”
“That didn’t look like nothing,” he seethes. “It looked like a tantrum by a spoiled brat.”
Tears fill my eyes and I pull my knees to my chest, pressing my cheek against them.
“Just go.”
He stands there a moment longer before cursing under his breath as he leaves. When he’s gone, I finally let the tears fall. I’m not sure how, but I have to get out of this house. My life depends on it.
15
Anna
I wake up the next morning with dread coiled heavily around my stomach.
Today is their wedding.
My eyes close as if that will somehow stop the nightmare that is now my life from happening. Maybe it’s for the best, but right now I don’t see how this is a good thing. All I can see is Odin. The man I hate. The man I want. And the man I’ll never have. There’s nothing for me here. Nothing at all except for pain, heartbreak, and loneliness.
A knock on the door has me sitting as three maids enter.
