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“I wish you weren’t our parent,” Genevieve says as soon as the door is shut behind Jaxson. A crack splits through my heart and a tear slips down my cheek.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, Vie. I really am. And if I could change it, I would in an instant. But I’m doing the best I can,” my voice cracks on the last word. I can hear Vie crying quietly in the backseat. Jaxson appears in the doorway, backlit by the light from inside behind me as he carries Blake’s sleeping form to the truck, opening the passenger side door, and depositing him in my lap since we’re just going down the dirt alley that runs between the two houses. Once he’s in the truck, he takes in my tear-stained face. I shake my head, telling him to just leave it as he steers us towards his place. He offers to take Blake when we get there, but I insist on carrying him, needing some time alone with my thoughts.
I carry him up the stairs and to his room, settling him in his bed. He’s small for six but still heavy, no longer the sweet toddler he used to be. He rolls over in his sleep and I tuck the blankets around him, pressing a kiss to his forehead before turning the bedside lamp on and leaving his room. Genevieve’s bedroom door is shut and music is coming from inside of it. I bypass the argument and trudge down the stairs, meeting Jaxson in the kitchen where he’s poured me a glass of wine.
“Bless you,” I say, taking it from him, and he tags me gently behind the head, pulling me in for a quick kiss to the forehead, letting his lips linger just briefly before pulling away and grabbing himself a beer from the fridge. He motions towards the living room and I follow, dropping down on the sectional beside him. I heave out a sigh.
“Penny for your thoughts?” He asks.
“I just didn’t know parenting could be this disheartening,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders, sipping my wine. Just when I think I’ve got it down; life throws one curveball after another. Knowing that Genevieve wishes I weren’t her parent has me all up in my feelings, because as much as I love the shit out of both of those little monsters, somedays I wish I were just their sister.
“She’s just hurting, Ace. She’s at war with all these big, scary feelings. She loves you.”
“I think I’m most mad at mama for making this my life,” I whisper, saying things out loud that I don’t think I’ve told anyone before. My phone dings and vibrates from the end table with a notification and I grab it.
Whitley: Girls night. My place, tomorrow at seven. Time to talk,Ace.
“Shit,” I curse, tossing the phone beside me and heaving out a sigh. “I’ve been summoned to girl’s night.” Jaxson’s deep chuckle washes over me.
“You knew they’d be hounding you for details eventually.” Drat, the bastard.
“I know, I was just hoping it could wait another six or eight months.” That pulls another chuckle out of him. He clicks the television on and settles me next to him, and for just a little while I let myself forget that I’m somebody’s sister and guardian, pretending that nights like this, curled up on the couch with Jaxson, could be my future.
****
“Indefinitely?!” Genevieve screeches and I close my eyes, rubbing my temples where the headache that’s been niggling in the back of my skull is roaring into a full-blown migraine. I fumble through the drawer for my medicine as her and Jaxson argue.
“I was pretty clear, darlin’,” Jaxson says, reiterating the fact that Vie’s phone is gone for the indefinite future and her laptop is now strictly for school use only.
“I can’t believe this. I said I wassorry!”
“Sorry doesn’t excuse the fact that you’ve been doing things online that are dangerous, Vie. Things that could have gotten you killed.” Jax says, trying to stress the seriousness of the situation.
A-ha! I grab the small bottle of prescription migraine medicine, taking two and washing them down with my water. It’s been a day from hell. Jaxson went to the office without me this morning, so that I could get the kids to school and go to the police station and answer questions about all the shit that went down last night. When I did finally clock in, it was after eleven and there were no less than twenty messages waiting to be returned to clients. After that it was just one crap storm after another.
“I want to live with mama,” Vie says and I snap my head up to look at her. Her face is red from crying but she looks completely serious.
“What?” I whisper, her words whirling in my head.
“I said, I want to live with mama.”
“Genevieve,” he says, his voice low, but she cuts him off.
“She’s still in town, right?” She says, shrugging her shoulders and crossing her arms. “If she’s back in town, then I can stay with her. Ihateit here.”
“Vie, choose your words carefully, because once you say them you can’t take them back,” Jaxson warns but I cut him off.
“No, that’s okay Jax. I’m a big girl, I can handle it. You wanna live with mama? Go on, then. I’m sure she’s got room for you on the floor of that seedy motel she’s been stayin’ at. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you, Vie, and maybe,” I say, gesturing between the two of us, “maybe this isn’t it.” Her face lights up with what looks to be surprise and then pain, but she covers the pain quickly with a snarky smile.
“Good. I’ll pack my things,” she spins on her heel and leaves the kitchen. The room is quiet for a moment as I stare at the spot she just vacated, my heart in tatters on the ground.
“Ace,” Jaxson says, dropping a hand to my shoulder but I shake him off, swiping the tears off my cheeks.
“I need to go if I’m going to make it to girls’ night on time. Are you sure you’re okay with Blake?” His blue eyes volley back and forth between mine as he tries to read my body language. I may be acting like I’m fine but inside I’m fucking broken.
“Yeah, I’m sure. He’s fine. Are you?”
“Great,” I say with forced cheeriness, dropping a kiss on his lips and leaving the house with a promise that I’ll be back in a few hours. Navigating my way out of Jaxson’s driveway, I drive straight to Whitley and Dean’s. She moved in with him after everything that happened over Christmas, Dean insisting that it just made more sense for them to live together as soon as possible since they are getting married and having a baby. Whitley didn’t put up much of a fight and Dean had her moved in by the end of the day. I park behind Lainey’s SUV and drag my body to the front porch, knocking on the door. It swings open a short moment later and Lex’s smile falters when she sees me.
