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Bliss
I’m ignoring him again, Ryan. Our last two sessions have been mostly one sided. He talks, and I agree or disagree but it’s never a full conversation. I can tell he’s getting tired of my pity party and the change of location every time, last minute. Today, I picked Dixie’s, who knew it was just as packed during the day as it was at night. Ryan picked a table in the back where the coffee bar is, and he even had my coffee waiting for me when I got here. He thinks it cheers me up, and I let him think it, when all I want to do is lie in bed all day and feel sorry for myself. But I can’t, I have to keep moving, even though it’s hard.
I’ve had to change my whole routine to avoid Cuba. I go to class at least twenty minutes early and slip out fifteen minutes before it ends, careful to not see him. I can’t handle it yet. I’ve heard that he’s now with that girl, and I refuse to ask India if it’s true. I don’t want to know.
“Your coffee is going to get cold.”
Blinking, I look toward the voice. Ryan is looking at me, almost annoyed, and I can’t blame him. I have been the worst tutor ever this week.
Lifting the mug to my lips, I smile before taking a sip. “Sorry.”
Ryan sighs and throws his napkin down. “Don’t be sorry. I’m worried about you, Bliss.”
“Why? I’m fine,” I insist, but I’m lying, and we both know it.
“Yeah, okay.” He laughs lightly. “If you want to believe that.”
My phone vibrates on the tabletop and I see it’s a text from my best friend.
Indi: We need to talk when you get home.
Oh no. My phone vibrates again.
Indi: Promise, I didn’t burn the place down. Relax
I ignore her because whatever we need to talk about is probably stupid. Probably another plan to make me ‘better’ that involves Patrick bringing liquor, me with a hangover, and still broken hearted. We tried that Sunday. Monday was rough.
“I know you don’t want to talk about him, but-“ He stops when I glare at him. “Come on, hear me out.”
I have no idea what he could even say, but I don’t want to argue with him. “Fine.”
Ryan looks at me carefully with his dark eyes. “Do you love him?”
What? I’m taken back by the question. Do I love Cuba? Of course, I do. It’s an impulse, loving him, that I can’t control.
“Yes,” I answer.
He grimaces but nods. “Of course, you do.”
That makes me frown. “What do you mean?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Nothing.” Ryan shakes his head. “Look, I’ve heard something-”
“I’ve already heard,” I cut him off. “Thanks for looking out though. We should really get this refresher started.”
I pull up my notes on my laptop from his last class. He doesn’t move, his eyebrows drawn in confused.
“What?” I sigh.
“Nothing, sorry,” he starts. “It’s just, you love him, why not even hear him out, especially after what everyone is saying.” He truly looks confused.
Setting my coffee down, I lean over. “Sorry, I don’t think I’m hearing you right.” I tilt my head. “Word is that he’s with her now.”
He laughs and jerks his head back. “Whoever you get your information from is smoking crack. He called her out at practice apparently, she admitted nothing happened.”
My heart skips a beat. He didn’t do anything with her? “She was still in his room,” I point out. “Gosh! Why is everyone in this? Everyone knows what happened! It’s so annoying.”
Ryan shrugs. “No idea, I have the same thing happen to me once a year at least. Reason why I don’t date, or try not to, at least.”
